Sincerely, Emily ✓

11 • Wake Up

I was left dumbstruck.

"You can't walk, Emily."

________

You know that feeling where you were about to fall, but you hadn't reached the ground yet? You were in-between of living and not knowing what would happen next — whether you would make it or not. Whether it would be the last day of your life. There was a the rush you got, when the wind blew your hair and was pressing against your body, the way life just blurred around you.

That was exactly what I was feeling right now.

I couldn't breathe.

Mom left to get me some water while Dr. Grey continued to look at me with worry. I was almost hurt that he didn't come forward and try to calm me down, but that was probably because I was on a high emotional run. If anyone tried to comfort me — try to tell me lies that I was going to be okay — I would snap.

When Mom came back, I took the glass of water from her wordlessly. My mind was still blank, and Dr. Grey decided it was time to tell me the bad bad news.

Seriously. I didn't think it could get worse.

It wasn't the fact that I had to use a wheelchair from this day on. It wasn't even the fact that my legs were already paralysed.

It was the fact that I, Emilia Marie Woods, had just reached the middle stages of ALS.

"What do you mean?" I cried. "How do you know?"

"Some of your muscles are already paralysed, which means you're going through the next level. It's weakening you, Miss Woods — I had a feeling that you already passed it, but this incident just confirmed it. I'm sorry."

Dr. Grey basically told me all the things that were going to happen to me. Every single detail was engraved in my mind, and I was scared. Really, really scared. My hands were shaking.

Meanwhile, the wheelchair wasn't the only thing barging into my life. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the Augmentative and Alternative Communication — the speaking device. Welcome to the crew, AAC. You're going to join us in our fun adventure soon.

Shower chairs were also mandatory now, in case I slipped again. I didn't really have a problem with showering, since there was a small handle and I usually clung to it whenever I felt slippery. But I guess the chair would be more helpful — I didn't want to embarrass myself. Again.

Before he left, he informed me that I would be given some antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication soon. I'd told him a hundred times that even though I wasn't feeling okay, I was certainly not depressed, nor suicidal, but he didn't buy any of it.

My mood increased drastically when Mom offered to bring Oliver in.

However, I was expecting to see one and one person only. Not a whole pack of people bursting through the door. 

People as in the Grants. They all greeted me with relief and worry in their eyes, but I could tell they were happy to see me alive and breathing. Jessie, Raph and Mrs. Grant all hugged me with more compassion that I'd expected — that almost made me want to burst into tears. Mr. Grant gave me a friendly and sympathetic pat on the shoulder, but when Tom followed his father's footsteps, his pat was just awkward. It was more of a touching-and-retreating, but I quickly forgave him when I realised, for the first time, that he wasn't connected to this phone. Jake gave me a high-five and said, "I knew you'd make it. Er, kind of."