I stood in front of the house wearing an unzipped jacket over my blue t-shirt and black ripped jeans. It was a bit windy, but still, pretty warm out.
Not knowing where I was planning to go, I took the same path to the town center that Keiji and I used to walk along.
I had my earbuds in my ears, and most of my journey to the town center, I simply just walked to the beat of the music. It helped me lose track of my thoughts anyways.
As I approached the large collection of buildings, I crossed the street, continuing to take musical steps.
The cafe was on the corner of an intersection, and I could already see the sign from here.
I probably looked either like a child that was told to go buy eggs or a hoe of a teenager who went shopping. To be honest, I was kinda a mix of both.
There wasn't a real reason why I wanted to go to the town center, but a small part of my mind knew that it was because I missed Keiji.
I pushed the doors to the cafe open and headed over to the cash register. There was a different girl this time, but she was still as sweet as always.
"What can I get you this morning?" she smiled. I gave her a quick smile back before replying.
"Can I get one medium hot chocolate?" I asked, looking up at the cafe menu. She looked at me strangely but then proceeded to enter my order into the cash register.
"A hot chocolate in June, how unique!" she giggled. I didn't really laugh at her exclamation, though. What was wrong with hot chocolate in the summer?
After handing her a few dollar bills and perfect change, she handed me a hot chocolate in return. It came in a white cardboard cup with a brown coffee sleeve and a matching brown cap. It had small summer decorations on the side of it, with white doodles and designs all over the cup.
I slowly walked over to the table by the window. It was the same one that Keiji and I sat at.
I pulled the chair out from below the table and sat down across from the seat that my mind reserved for him.
My eyes were focused on the window as I took my first sip of the hot chocolate. It smelled sweet and warmed up my throat as I swallowed.
I stared intently through the window, watching as crowds of friends and families took trips through the long town center sidewalks. It looked fun to have friends to shop with, but drinking hot chocolate with Keiji might have been better.
I shifted my gaze over to the other side of the table across from myself. The chair was empty, without even a crumb on it.
I could only imagine Keiji's gorgeous dark hair, with small curls sticking out from under his beanie. And his eyes. His beautiful eyes. Watching the children outside, peacefully.
Wherever he was right now, and wherever he was going to go, I wanted to be by his side. I wanted him back, so badly, and I felt so selfish wanting him with me.
I would probably kill myself knowing that it was only day one, but I had to push through.
Keiji. I could never understand the boy, but somehow he understood everything about me. He would always get lost in his world of thought. One that had a lock at its entrance. And I had absolutely no clue where the key was.
He would drift off into outer space, thinking about god knows what. Yet somehow, it was so easy for me to love him.
He was so complicated, yet so simple and understanding. I knew and I reassured myself every minute that I would never in my life meet someone like him.
But lucky for me, he loved me.
For now.
Such a large amount of time could do wonders to a person, and even worse than that, other people can do much more.
He loved me today, and he would probably love me tomorrow. He loved me yesterday, and the day before that.
And I will love him forever, no matter what.
But what about next week? Or next month? Or next year? Or even in four years? Will he still love me like he does today? Because at this rate, I don't even have a chance.
