Once Keiji left, my heart sunk. That was the last time I would ever see him before we say goodbye.
I could tell that my mother felt bad for me, but I don't really think she cared if Keiji left. Yeah, she would have to see me be miserable for the next four years, but she hardly sees me at all, so why would it matter to her?
She would always say things like, 'Oh he's a good kid,' and, 'I'm glad that you found someone to take care of,' but I never really thought that she cared much about my friends. She said the same things when Bokuto was around, and throughout my life whenever I brought home new people.
I knew that she was happy for me, and I knew that she loved me, but she never seemed to give a shit about my emotions or thoughts. Maybe because I never let her inside my head. Maybe this was all because I constantly questioned her, instead of just letting her be.
Everything was my fault. And I knew I would've regretted everything now, but that didn't stop me from actually doing it.
I was drowning still, and I could easily save myself.
But I chose not to.
And that will never change.
"Y/n, do you want to make yourself something to eat?" I heard my mother call from the kitchen.
"Sure, are you going somewhere?" I responded.
"Yeah, I have to go back to work, sorry hun," she spoke as I walked over to her.
"Oh, okay," I smiled a large fake smile, perfectly fitting my own stereotype for myself. Of course, she was going back to work, what else did I expect?
"Alright, say bye to Keiji for me," she waved and walked right back out of the house, not even taking her shoes off.
I waved back out of instinct but stood still as she closed the front door, watching her through the window.
Wow.
That was disappointing.
I wasn't going to let her bother me though. So what if she had work, she already spent enough of her time coming to my graduation, I should be thankful.
I guess I shouldn't even expect her to make time in her schedule for Keiji. She wasn't even friends with his family, so he was just her daughter's high school sweetheart, huh.
"It's okay, she's done enough," I mumbled to myself, turning back over to the kitchen.
I grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and filled it halfway with pretzels. I wasn't really hungry since it had literally been 3 hours since I last ate, but I was always hungry enough for unnecessary carbohydrates.
"I'm home!" I heard a voice call, followed by a trail of quickly-paced footsteps. It was definitely Akira.
"Y/n!" she excitedly shouted, jumping up into my arms as I turned around to greet her.
"Oh! Hello, Akira," I wrapped my arms around her tiny body.
Once she finally let go of me, she started jumping up and down like a million times. This kid had way too much energy for my sleep-deprived self.
"How was your last day of school?" I asked her as I sat down to eat my pretzels.
"Awesome!!!" she replied before breaking out into a long and loud rant. She was waving her arms around in multiple directions, and I couldn't understand a single word she said.
"Akira, Akira. Calm down," I laughed.
She took a deep breath before asking, "what about you?"
"Not bad," I giggled.
"You look sad, y/n," she frowned.
"Ah, I'm fine," I looked down towards my pretzel, forcing a calm smile onto my face. Even she noticed, was I really that obvious?
But Akira was right. I couldn't think about anything other than Keiji leaving. I was absolutely miserable, even though I continuously forced myself to smile.
"Hmm, is it because Akaashi's leaving today?" she asked.
"H-How do you know about that?" I looked up at her in shock. She let out a bit of air and smiled.
"I know a lot of things, y/n," she giggled.
"What?" I laughed. I was extremely confused.
"Can I come with you to say bye?" she looked up at me with her puppy eyes.
"Of course," I sighed and smiled once more.
