Brave Fear (boyxboy)

Chapter 4

Zane surprised himself when he realized the degree of his attraction to Joseph. It was not merely an aesthetic attraction, the only kind he'd ever been taught about. This was something different, something internal, something that felt great but he knew wasn't.

He had never considered what his inner turmoil could have done to his life in New Vancouver. He was required to fill a quota of one child minimum. But he had never considered the results of the governors assigning him a female spouse, when what he truly felt deep inside himself was that he had never wanted, would never want, a female spouse.

But this attraction to Joseph was disconcerting. It was strong, unlike anything he'd ever felt before, and he had a strong desire to protect the other boy, let no harm come to him. He couldn't decide if this was a good or bad quality.

That was another reason Zane was doubting his escape plan. What if he got Joseph injured or even killed? He didn't think he could handle it if that happened. He was trying to think of every possible solution that posed no threat to the other boy. The only answer he could pluck from his thoughts was don't leave. He had banished it almost immediately. There was no way he would let himself or Joseph stay in this hellhole any longer. They had to get away.

Zane watched as Joseph sat down cross legged against the wall and pulled something from his pocket. Zane saw it was a rubber ball, and Joseph began to throw it against the wall, bouncing it back toward himself. He was completely fixed on the task before him.

Zane watched the flex in Joseph's arms as he threw the ball, and the muscles in his forearm as he caught it again. Naturally, it took him staring at the boy to imbue chaos.

Zane couldn't feel his hand. Or his foot. Or his other arm. Perplexed, he looked down.

He choked on his scream.

His body was disintegrating. His whole left arm was gone, and what appeared to be small particles of dust were floating aimlessly around where it had been. His right foot and right hand were gone as well. As he watched, his left hand seemed to come apart or to flake, and the particles began to drift around his head. His eyes widened as the particles got bigger and multiplied with speedy precision and accuracy.

The only picture in his mind was of the needle they had used bearing down on him, sinking into his skin. He fixed his brain on that image and struggled to will the particles to reform. If this was his power taking hold, he had to control it. Even if he was just Dustman, he needed to stop it before his whole body disintegrated.

"Zane, what the hell?" Joseph yelled, standing straight up. The rubber ball continued to bounce softly from wall to wall. Zane focused on the image of the needle and released the pent up anger.

The particles reassembled themselves. Zane was extremely relieved as they started to come together. But they were not forming his limbs. Only a small portion of the multiplied particles had condensed, and a needle fell into Zane's lap. The rest of the particles reformed his limbs, and when it was over, he only lacked a small portion of his pinkie finger, to just under where the nail used to be.

"Uh, Zane?" Joseph said hesitantly. "That thing is made out of you." He shuffled backward and Zane instantly regretted the look of fear in his eyes. However, he felt he looked the same way. The needle looked exactly like the one they had used. There was even a volume of the pink serum inside of it. Just the sight of it made his stomach churn. His gaze flitted furtively to the cameras, but they appeared to be turned off. The red light Zane had come to realize as an indicator that it was on was not visible. Either the camera was really off or they had turned the light off to make Zane think it was off.

Zane had no words for what had happened. His body had literally reformed into a needle, which he just couldn't wrap his brain around. He wondered if the formula inside would burn his skin like the real thing. Another, more self-raising thought crossed his mind. What if this serum grew his power, gifting him the ability to escape? He peered at Joseph, wondering if he was thinking the same thing. But he was also contemplating if he was willing to risk Joseph's safety to break free from Wawrzynski's clutches.

Joseph's eyes widened as he sensed Zane's intentions with the serum he now held. Then he steeled his expression. "Do it," he advised. He crossed his arms, his biceps straining against the thin white fabric of his shirt. "It might work."

Zane glanced apprehensively at the needle. He still had not picked it up from where it lay on his lap. He glanced again at his partially disintegrated pinkie finger, frowning. "I don't know if I should," he said honestly. "It feels like I'm injecting myself with my own blood."

Joseph scowled. "I understand, Zane," he said slowly. "But do you really want to stay in here for the Governors to run wacky experiments on you for the rest of your life?"

Zane saw no pleasing answer to that question. "What if you tried?" Zane asked, hoping to avoid the possibility of sinking a needle into his skin.

"Even if I did transform into whatever kind of metal these walls are, it'd be like fighting against myself. I wouldn't get very far."

Zane sighed. Joseph made it sound like there was no other option, obvious or not. Slowly and tentatively, he picked up the needle, grasping it between his thumb and forefinger as if it were a particularly gross pencil that someone had chewed on. He held his breath and laid the point against his skin, producing a somewhat ticklish sensation in his arm. He grasped it fully, laying his thumb on the pusher on the end of the needle.

Joseph watched him expectantly. Zane positioned the needle over a particularly thick bulging vein in his arm, and pushed it through his skin. The silver point buried itself into the flesh, sinking into the vein underneath his skin. He gasped as a sharp and concentrated burst of pain struck him. His eyes started to water as he forced himself to push the fluid into himself.

When all the liquid was gone, he envisioned the needle gone as well. Nothing happened. He concentrated even harder, scrunching his eyes shut tight, but still nothing happened. He gingerly pulled the needle out, gritting his teeth.

He knew somewhere within him that the next time he willed something to dissolve back into his flesh and bones, it would. This needle was simply a reminder of his choice, his deeply concealed thirst for power. He inhaled sharply. Joseph glanced at him worriedly and Zane forced himself not to burst into a goofy smile.

He did not feel the same as he did on the metal table, constrained by restraints and struggling to free himself. Instead he felt as if the room were spinning, and his head lolled back and forth. He could physically feel the liquid running through his veins, spreading to the farthest parts of his body. He fought the mad urge to giggle.

"Woah," he said as he stood up, pitching to the left. Joseph caught him, his strong arm wrapping around Zane's chest. Zane patted his cheek. "Thanks."

Joseph sat him down on the edge of the bed. His body once again began to disintegrate.

"Um, could you please not do that?" Joseph inquired.

"I can't control it anymore!" Zane yelled.

It was true. He tried envisioning his body as a whole, and all the details of himself; his small pale birthmark on his shoulder, his extra toe on his right foot, his slightly shortened pinkie finger. Nothing worked. He would have thought a sixth toe would be enough to shock his power into submission. Sadly, extra appendages were not the key.

Joseph screamed. "Your face is falling off!"

Zane reached up to feel, but his hands were gone. His arms were short stubs at his shoulders, which were starting to slough off as well.

Joseph scrambled away from him, almost tripping over his own feet. "Yikes!" he yelled.

Zane sighed, or tried to sigh because he didn't have any lungs anymore. Good summary of my problems right now, Joseph, he thought furiously.

His now disembodied head rolled off his nonexistent shoulders and his face smashed into the not very soft pillow. He tried to mumble an insult to Joseph, but there were no vocal chords to force out such a noise. Soon his tongue felt no bottom lip, and then his top lip felt no tongue. Soon he felt as if he were just a consciousness, floating over the room. He found it weird, but he could see. However, it was as if he were watching through a kaleidoscope.

He saw Joseph trying to pluck the particles from the air, but Zane knew it was no use. He had no physical body. He was almost ready to resign himself to a life as a million dust particles when he saw Joseph begin to cry at his feeble attempts to grasp Zane's body.

He had to get his body back.

But how?