AFTER YOU SAVED ME // ZESSA

Chapter 39: After You Saved Me

Hardin's POV

November 2

We are so close. I can feel it, like she's on the tip of my fingers, just out of reach. I would give anything to see Tessa again, to know she's okay...smell her... touch her... hell, even be yelled at by her. I just want her to be okay. And for a chance to apologize for how much of a complete ass I have been. I know I don't deserve her, and I can't expect her to see me in any way other than a monster, but she deserves my apology. So, when I finally do find her, and I will, I'll tell her. I'll tell her everything. How I've given up drinking and drugs, how I apologized to Natalie, and all the other people I have wronged. How I am seeing a therapist like she has always wanted and getting help for my bad dreams. I can't wait to tell her my bad dreams are almost completely gone. And because of her. My therapist says it's because of me, but it really is because of her. I have never loved anyone so much in my life, and no one has ever felt love as strong as this. I know this to be true, because somehow, I am alright with her and Zed being together. In fact, I am almost happier for it. Because I know she has found love. She's found someone who makes her completely happy – even though it isn't me. I mean sure, Zed is a bit of a wanker, but if he makes her happy, then so be it. And I guess the guy has some good qualities – though I'd never admit it to his face. And together, they will have a gorgeous family – get to live out their dreams – be happy. And hopefully, I can be there. I can teach the little rascals how to pick a lock or throw a punch – something I'm sure Tessa would be thrilled about. But hopefully... I'll be there. As an old friend and someone who cares deeply for their happiness – and maybe even a free babysitter from time to time. Because I will be forever indebted to Theresa Young. After she saved me, I knew it. I will love her – friend or not – for as long as I live.

- Hardin