Struggles of an Only Child (Book 2 of the Struggle Puff Series)

Chapter Twelve

Back when we were still living with Amy and Ain, I was told of a time when Ain and I had kissed.

Apparently, it was done in spite of my dad's wishes, and that Jake and Amy wanted to tease us by cooing over how cute they thought we were.

It was Christmas and Amy's apartment was decorated as if it were on display. Like in most Christmas decorations, there was mistletoe hung like a weapon in the kitchen. Thinking back on it, she was probably using it as a way to kiss dad, but it never worked to her advantage. As for Ain and me, it was like a plague that followed us. We went everywhere together, even if it was just in the apartment.

One fateful evening full of eggnog and cheer, we stumbled into the kitchen together and were supposedly trapped by the laws of the mistletoe. While Amy and Jake cheered us on to kiss, dad was clearly not as enthusiastic about it.

I vaguely recall standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do as everyone watched us and spoke with excitement. All of the sudden, I felt a soft texture brush against my lips. It didn't last long. It was so fast that one could barely register it as a kiss, but it was in everyone else's eyes.

As they all gasped and cooed at the sight of us, Ain rolled his eyes and continued walking to the pantry, "Don't ever ask that again." He demanded with a tone of finality.

Since then, we've given each other small pecks on New Year's Day or when mistletoe circled around like it did the first time, but in those times, I really didn't comprehend what was happening. I guess I just assumed that short kisses were things that close friends did, so I always brushed them off as nothing but friends participating in traditions. Now, in this situation, I wasn't sure if a simple brush off was possible.

While this wasn't our first kiss, the situation was vastly different from when we were kids. This time, there was a sense of desperation that lurked in it. I didn't dare respond to the kiss in fear of not being able to keep myself together.

His hands had gently settled on my cheeks as his lips lingered on mine. Neither of us moving or breathing as we stood with hooded eyes and attached mouths. Eventually he pulled away, slowly. Our eyes were now opened wide as we stared at each other in confusion and hurt.

"Why-" I stopped myself from speaking any further when I couldn't recognize my own voice.

"I... don't know." He replied, his tone low and raspy, "I just... I just thought that's what you wanted." He pulled away from me completely, as if frustrated with his own response.

I was angry, all of the sudden, "I never asked you to do that." I aggressively wiped at my lips as I glared at him, "Don't blame your own compulsiveness on me."

He looked at the arm that had wiped away the lingering feeling of him from my mouth, "I'm sorry... It was me. I wanted that." He admitted softly.

"Even though I'm a child to you?"

He looked up quickly, and raised his eyebrow at me, "What? I never said you were a child."

I scoffed, "My apologies, I believe your exact words were She's still young."

He looked confused for a moment until he realized where I had pulled that line from. His face melted into one of irritation, "So you eavesdrop now?"

"So you talk about friends behind their backs to your secret girlfriend now?" I shot back.

His jaw clenched as we glared at each other, but he broke his hardened look first, "I wasn't trying to keep her a secret, I just-"

"Thought that by lying about her being your girlfriend, you wouldn't be keeping her a secret? Mind blowing logic, Jackson."

"I just thought," He started again, clearly frustrated, "That if we played our relationship out without anyone else getting involved, I'd be able to better understand how I felt about her."

Something about his facial expression made it seem as if it pained him to say any of that.

"I don't know what it is you're trying to hide, but I don't care anymore. Keep your girlfriend, your secrets, your lies, and every other stupid thing. I'm done with you, and I think I've made that pretty clear." I turned around and grabbed the doorknob to leave, but stopped again, "I only came here for Amy, and after she's gone, I want absolutely nothing to do."

I stepped out of the room but was dragged back in and into a tight embrace. The door was promptly shut behind us with his foot.

"Please don't." He whispered desperately, his chin resting on the top of my head, "Please don't leave like that."

I didn't know what to say, so I stood quietly in his arms.

I'm not sure how long we stood there, but it was long enough for our legs to start hurting. Eventually, he let me go, but kept me within arm's reach as if I would run away at any moment. His eyes were bloodshot and glossed over. I was sure if I reached up and touched my hair, I'd find that it was wet, but I didn't dare move.

He reached his hand out and grazed the side of my face. He leaned in like he was going to kiss me again but stopped when our lips were just a breath apart. Instead, he rubbed his nose against mine with closed hooded eyelids, "I guess I shouldn't do this." He muttered.

"You shouldn't." I replied quietly, scanning his face with curious eyes.

Once again, we were frozen in the moment, unsure of what to do next.

"Since you don't want to see me anymore, can I at least spend the night trying to convince you not to?" He asked, his eyes full of hope.

I looked at the ground and backed away, "I don't think that's a good idea, Ain. We clearly feel... something for each other, and that's not fair to Jessica."

Before I could get too far from him, he gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me a few steps closer, "I understand what you're saying, but I'm not trying to convince you as a guy would a girl he likes. I'm trying to convince you as a friend who hasn't been apart from you since he was five."

I chose to ignore him basically saying he likes me and focused on the friendship part. I couldn't argue with his logic. It hurts to lose a friend, especially when we were each other's first and best friend. I thought for a moment before nodding slightly.

He smiled brightly, clearly relieved by my unforeseen agreement. Without wasting a moment, he went and laid down on his bed. Soon after, he patted the spot next to him and looked at me expectantly. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Getting you in a convincing mood." He said with a wink and a sly smile.

My stomach dropped to my knees as I stared at him with wide eyes.

What in the hell is happening?