Some Siriusly Obvious (or not) Harry Potter Headcanons

Wizards in a Pandemic

This is yet another James Potter headcanon, but it also needs a little bit of a back story:

So my first period teacher is constantly interrupted by his kids, his wife, and his cat when he's teaching. Every single class you can hear his kids in the background. Sometimes they're sitting right next to him. Occasionally his cat will appear and sit on his keyboard. My teacher is generally unperturbed by all the interruptions and it's actually quite hilarious. 

But anyway, this morning, I thought "Holy crap, what if James  was a teacher during the pandemic and had to teach virtually?" And that has led to the following series of scenarios. For simplicity, we'll just say that the name of the Potters' cat is Cat.

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"Good morning, everybody! Today we'll be- wait, no, Harry, don't push that button! I don't even know what it does myself! Can you guys still hear me? How do I switch tabs?"

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"Excuse me for a moment. Harry, mate, don't strangle the cat, please. Anyway, where was I?"

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James: "Today's lesson is going to be about dementors! Before we start, I should probably kick my son out of the room. Lily! Can you come get Harry please? I don't want him learning about vile, soul sucking bastards!"
Harry: "Daddy, what's a bastard?"
James: "Crap, I shouldn't have said that word."
Harry: "Crap!"
Lily: "Stop teaching my son bad words, James."

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"Oh look! I finally manged to share my screen! Aaaaand my cat just sat on the keyboard. Can you still see my screen? No? Well I guess class canceled until I learn how to properly use technology. It was nice knowing you all!"

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"In conclusion, becoming an Animagus is- Sirius what the hell are you doing at my house? We've already told you, you can't come over anymore! Sorry, everybody. I hope you're enjoying the view of my friend trying to break into my house. He's a bit dramatic and suffers from mild separation anxiety. Go home, mate! I'll FaceTime you later, alright?"

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"Hey, guys. My cat refuses to stop sitting on my head, so I'll just have to teach like this for the day."
*five minutes later*
"No! Cat! Stop eating my hair! No! Everybody just bear with m- ARGH!"
*a minute later*
"I hope you'll all be able to eventually get over the trauma of seeing your teacher get his hair eaten by a cat. Anyway, back to the lesson."

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Harry: "Goo morning everybody. My name is Harry Pottah and tuh-day we will be lur-ning about, uhhh... Tuh-day we will be learning about the Tales of Beedle the Bird! I mean Bard. It's Bard, right, Dad?" 
James: *laughing* "Yes, it's Bard."

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These last ones don't have to do with James, they're actually things that have happened in my classes:

My teacher: That's my wife in the background, she's teaching her class and she's very enthusiastic about something. Should I try to match her enthusiasm?

Us (the class): Omg yes you should!

T: Alright everybody! Let me stop sharing my screen here will quick- oops! I just clicked on the wrong tab!

Us: OH NO!

T: I'm just going to close this tab so I don't click on it again!

Us: YEAH! CLOSE THAT TAB! WOOT WOOT! YAY!

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T: Do any of your other teachers take as long as I do to share their screens?

the class: Yeah, they do.

Me: No.

T: Really, Madeline?

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Random kid: I went to the bathroom, did I miss anything?

Other dude: Nah, we're just waiting for this test to open.

Me: We've decided that we're taking a field trip to Mars. 

(Yes, I'm a sarcastic little shit. I know.)

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*During French*

Dude 1: French chat = irrelevent

Dude 2: Facts.

Dude 3: French chat = Insame

Dude 4: French chat?????? We don't know her.

Me: We are her.

Dude 4: Lmao you're right.

Me: French chat = yes.

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If I had time, I would put more random shit, but now I'm going to be late for math so byeeeeee!