Harry Potter oneshots

Guilt | Perciver

Percy stood frozen in front of a fallen wall. You couldn't have even recognized it had once been a wall, if you hadn't known it for a fact. If you hadn't stood just next to it when it fell. If you hadn't lost a brother for that very same wall.

Percy's hands were dirty, and he tightened his hold on his wand. He had been repairing the school after the war along with many others, and before he noticed, he had been standing in front of the place Fred had died.

"Hello Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"

Percy's hands started to shake, and his eyes sting. He had been so full of courage and power, so happy to be fighting alongside his family. His family he just got back. His family he thought he would never lose anymore. He had been so wrong.

"You're joking, Perce!" shouted Fred as the Death Eater he was battling collapsed under the weight of three separate Stunning Spells. Thicknesse had fallen to the ground with tiny spikes erupting all over him; he seemed to be turning into some form of sea urchin. Fred looked at Percy with glee.

Why did he have to be such a selfish, power-hungry, arrogant moron? Why did he have to be such a coward that he couldn't come and apologize before? Why did he have to do it in the middle of a war?

"You actually are joking, Perce... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were-"

Twelve, probably bloody twelve. Why couldn't he have been better to his family when he could've? Why couldn't he have stayed by their side? Why did he have to distract his brother at that moment? It was all his fault. All his fault that he had lost a part of his family, this time once and for all.

A sob escaped Percy's lips, as his legs gave out and he fell on his knees. There was a clack when Percy's wand hit the floor. Someone gasped and called his name in the distance, but Percy barely heard. His head was flooding with thoughts, regret, yearning, blame.

He was embraced with a strong arm, and another one brushed his messy, curly red hair off his eyes.

"Percy, Percy what is it?!"

Percy was met with dark hazel eyes, full of worry. He realized his own were full of tears.

"Percy, say something, please! Perce!"

The tears fell. They fell down the freckled cheeks, as Percy hung his head, his shoulders starting to shake as he sobbed.

The other man's breath hitched, and his grip around Percy loosened. Percy felt cold, and alone, despite the person sitting in front of him. It felt like he didn't matter. Fred was gone. And it was his fault.

Suddenly he was embraced again. The muscular arms brought him onto someone's lap, and he instinctively tucked his head under the person's chin. He wanted to feel safe, and it felt so good to be held, but he knew he didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry," he cried with a choked voice. "I'm so s-sorry."

"What for Merlin's sake are you talking about?" the person asked, frantically eying Percy's body. "Are you hurt? What's wrong?"

Percy closed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth together. He shook his head, and nuzzled against the person holding him. He wanted to be close, he needed it. He had always made sure his siblings were safe and okay, but he wasn't used to want someone to take care of him.

And Oliver wasn't used to be the one taking care of someone. If his team mate got hurt, he knew how to help. But he did not have any idea how to comfort, when the person was crying, not injured but clearly in need of comfort.

For his boyfriend's sake, he was willing to try.

Oliver scooped Percy higher against his chest, placing his head on his shoulder. The Quidditch player held Percy's body with his other arm, and moved the other to support his head.

He took a deep breath, looking down at the trembling mess on his arms. Percy's glasses were crooked, and seemed to be just on the way when he tried to press his face closer to his lover. Oliver carefully took the glasses off.

"What's wrong, Percy? Tell me, please, I hate seeing you like this," Oliver murmured shakily.

But Percy's thoughts were far away from the present.

"No - no - no!" Percy shouted. "No! Fred! No!"
And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them, and Fred's eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face.

Percy was the last one who made Fred laugh. Why did he have to do it in there? Why couldn't he have protected his brother, like he always did? Why did he have to fail just then?

"Percy-"

He didn't deserve to be at home. He didn't deserve his parents' and siblings' love. Fred should have it. Not him.

"Hey, c'mon, look at me."

He didn't deserve George's friendship. He didn't deserve to hear his brother laugh. Fred deserved it. He should've been the one to die.

A firm hold on his chin brought him back to the moment.

"What is it? Y-you aren't injured, what is it?"

Percy stared at the pale face in front of him. He and Oliver had been dating for a few years. They were always close, specially during their last year at Hogwarts. But since Percy was busy with Head Boy stuff and Oliver with his last change of winning the Quidditch Cup, nothing happened between them.

It was only after a certain night Oliver had invited his friend to play Quidditch and hang out that sparks started to fly.

"Love, hey."

Percy blinked. His eyes were sticky from tears. Them, and the fact that he didn't have his glasses, made his vision blurry. Oliver brushed a hand over his cheek. It calmed him down a bit. Percy lowered his head so the only thing he saw was Oliver's shirt.

"This is the place," he whispered. "Fred..."

Percy didn't saw it, but Oliver's eyes widened as the realization hit him. "I'm so sorry," he breathed in shock. "I had no idea."

Percy nodded his head slowly against Oliver's chest. "You couldn't have."

Oliver cared for him so much. Oliver was the best that could've ever happened to him. When Percy was feeling down or stressed, (which was often), Oliver was there to cheer him up with the stupid enthusiasm for Quidditch they shared, or brewing his favourite tea for him, or massaging his shoulders, which Percy specially loved.

How did he ever deserve Oliver? How did he deserve Oliver to be there for him? He shouldn't be comforted, he didn't deserve it. Not at all.

Percy felt soft lips on his forehead.

"I love you," Oliver told, with so much affection in his voice. "I know it hurts. Losing your brother. I-I could never say that I understand the pain, because I don't, but..." Oliver looked straight into Percy's eyes.

"I'm here, alright? Whatever you need, I'm here. I'll always be. For you."

Percy stared at Oliver's face, as Oliver caressed his with his hand. Percy hiccuped a few times, and he felt the tears again.

"I-it's okay. You can cry. It's okay. I'm here."

And Percy cried. He took a hold on Oliver's shirt, and cried. He felt overhelmed with emotions, he felt like exploding. But it was flooding off with the tears. He didn't even notice Oliver standing up with him. He didn't notice Oliver carrying him to the already repaired Great Hall. He didn't notice the people asking if he was okay and Oliver softly hushing them. Soon enough, Percy was asleep.

And when he would wake up, Oliver would be there. So would his mum and dad. So would his brothers and sister. And Fred would be there too.

In his heart.