forget | taehyung [discontinued]

2

Amethyst's

Before I could utter a single word, tita's phone rang. She then excused herself out of the room for some privacy. Okay lang, I needed time to take a breather myself anyways.

I admit, what Jungkook revealed earlier and Taehyung coming back changed things. Of course I would want to help tita do what she can so Taehyung could regain his memories, it's the least thing I could do to help them and my guilt— but making new memories with him? I don't think I could do that. There's too many risks.

There's the risk of us becoming friends.

The risk of feelings to be involved.

And the risk of loosing Jin.

I don't want that.

"Sorry hija, I had to take the call." Bumalik na si tita galing hallway at pumasok ulit sa kwarto at umupo sa harap ko. "Where were we? Oh yes, I remember. So can you help me? Maybe when he's with you, my son could—"

Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni tita. "I'm sorry tita. I want Taehyung to remember his memories too, but I don't think being around him would help neither of us. Honestly, I only went to the airport today because Jungkook told me to see if I'm completely over with Taehyung."

"And?"

Napahinga ako ng malalim. It's been 2 years, my feelings for that man should be gone by now. I should only be focusing on the man who was with me all this time. But why? Why is it that the moment I saw him again, all of my feelings came flooding back. As if I never moved on from him in the first place. Like I just wanted to forget what happened between us and not accept it.

"Hija, it's alright if you've moved on from my son. I understand you don't want to be around him anymore bu—"

"I don't want to be around your son not because I've move on, it's because I'm afraid history would repeat itself, tita." Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko nanamang masaktan ulit.

Ngumiti si tita. "If getting hurt is what you're afraid of, then you already have nothing to fear because you've already experienced it. There's no Jinri this time, hija. You know my son loves you. He didn't have to say it but you could see it in his eyes."

"There's no Jinri but there's already a Jin, tita."

Nang sabihin ko iyon, napabuntong hininga si tita. "Are you sure about that, Amethyst?"

Tumango ako.

"I understand. But let me invite you tomorrow at least."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Tomorrow?"

"Yes. We will be having a party to celebrate Taehyung's arrival. The boys will be there. You could invite some of your friends as well. We just wanted to give Taehyung a warm welcome since the accident. Don't worry, you don't have to stay until the end of the party." 

I wanted to ask why she wanted everyone to be there when I realized, I just refused to help her son. So she's trying to gather everyone, in hopes that seeing us would make him remember his memories. Napa-buntong hininga ako. And here I thought I've dealt with enough guilt for today. First I had to leave Jin. Second was Jungkook's revelation. And now, me deciding to stay away from Taehyung just because I'm afraid of the risks that comes with it.

But can you blame me? Yes, I want Taehyung to regain his memories too. But wouldn't it be better if we just leave it this way? He could have a fresh start and so can I with Jin.

It's been 2 years.. I need to finally learn how to let go.

"Are you going to come?"

I smiled. "I'll go. But after tomorrow, I'll stay away. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's rude of me not to consider your feelings. Come, I'll have our driver bring you home."

—

"So are we going to go?" tanong ni Jin sa kabilang linya.

"Of course, and it's your time to catch up with him. Why wouldn't you want to go." sabi ko naman habang tuloy parin ang pag-basa sa email ko about sa internship program ko next month.

"Don't mind me, I'm asking if you want to go."

Nirolyo ko ang mata ko. "Jin, he's one of your best friends! What I say doesn't matter."

"What? Look at me."

Huminga muna ako ng malalim at ginawang head band ang reading glasses ko, bago tumingin sa cellphone ko. "What now?"

"What you say will always matter to me. So if you're not comfortable attending the party tomorrow, tell me. I don't want to force you to do something you don't like." sabi niya habang nakatitig lang sa camera.

"It's not what you think." Kahit na totoong gusto ko lumayo kay Taehyung, hindi ko pwedeng ipagkait si Jin sakanya. "I'm okay with attending the party tomorrow, really. Besides, you'll be there. Everyone's going to be there. And Taehyung already forgot what we had before so I'm alright with that."

Liar.

"Are you sure?"

"Hundred percent."

"Alright. Then I'm going to pick you up tomorrow."

"Sounds good." Ngumiti ako bago ituon ulit ang attention ko sa laptop ko. Magbabasa na sana ulit ako nang mag-salita ulit si Jin.

"By the way, why did you want to meet up earlier?" Nang ipaalala niya sa akin, halos mamula na ako at mabilaukan sa sarili 'kong laway. Oonga pala, aamin na dapat ako sakanya kanina. "Is there something important you want to say?"

"N-Nothing. I just wanted to see you."

"Are you sure? Nothing's wrong?"

"Nope." Kapag nakahanap ako ng magandang timing bukas, sasabihin ko na. "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight!"

"Night. See you tomorrow."

—