𝘄𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 || 𝘀𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂

30

two years later

He had hated Atsumu when he first met him. Atsumu never left him alone. Atsumu blew up his phone with texts. Atsumu slept with everyone. Atsumu was messy. Atsumu played with people's feelings. Atsumu made him feel things.

But after gruesome months of spending time with atsumu, atsumu had managed to be the only one to ever have Kiyoomi fight down a smile with just one word, who could make the germaphobe feel comfortable by just being around, make him feel like he could relax and not worry about every little germ surrounding him for once.

Kiyoomi liked that about him. He liked everything about the overall male, even the habits that had made him cringe. Atsumu was the only one he ever wanted. Him and Atsumu just fit together, in fact- they probably could've been some off brand college sweethearts, or well he thought they would've been college sweethearts. the universe however, had different plans.

it's been two years since they last spoke, and he's not the same person he was before and after that fight. He no longer spent nights thinking about Atsumu. The warmth that filled him when he thought of Atsumu was no longer as dominant. He was more cut off from society. He only talked to a few close friends and his family now.

and although he got better at dealing with germs, his trust issues had gotten worse.
unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing atsumu had been the cause of though.

——————

Sakusa barely thought of Atsumu. Atsumu just popped into his head late at night, when his insomnia had gotten him to a point in which he was so bored that the twin was the last thing he could think of. Sakusa also thought of Atsumu during certain moments, when little things reminded him of Atsumu. like music. and black coffee. and stupid fucking sunsets.

——————

Sakusa hated germs. That was quite obvious. Music however, didn't have anything to do with germs. Maybe, that's why he loved it so much. He could listen to beautiful sounds without being surrounded by people.

During nights when he had trouble sleeping he'd listen to hour long podcasts of violins being played. During the day, and during long drives, he'd listen to songs with lyrics in them. The music filled up his empty, quiet apartment, back in university, and had always helped him relax in traffic. It had always been there for him.

He enjoyed songs by Gorillaz, Arctic Monkeys, and Tame Impala. He appreciated the meaning behind Gorillaz songs, the cruel realistic meaning each song held. That's what was so great- the meanings were realistic and related to his thoughts. That however, wasn't the reason for his love for Tame Impala and Arctic Monkeys. Sakusa couldn't understand what those songs were about back then. The ones he specifically listened to had been about love and heartbreak. So, he simply listened to them for the beat and the catchiness of them.

That was past Sakusa. Because present Sakusa understood the meanings all too well, Atsumu made sure of that. He could relate to songs like "Knee Socks" -a song about how the singer met, scored, and later lost a girl- and "The Less I Know the Better" -a song about a one sided relationship and about suppressing feelings of jealousy after a breakup.

He hated how the songs ruined his mood in broad daylight though, so he just started skipping through those songs whenever he was on his own at his penthouse. Drives on the road were different though. Whenever he blasted music on the highway through his aux cord, and got one of THOSE songs, he ended up just listening to the radio.

The radio however betrayed him occasionally. On shitty days, it loved playing cheesy love songs and basic break up songs about missing past significant others. It was almost as if he was being teased by it.

—————

Sakusa wasn't the biggest fan of sweets. That being said he also wasn't the biggest fan of cafes. They always had overly sweet cakes and overly sweet coffees, that consisted of more sugar than coffee. The only thing he didn't despise was black coffee. yup, the dark bitter stuff that kept him awake in the morning. too bad some piss haired bitch ruined that for him. ok well maybe it wasnt entirely atsumus fault, but still who gave him the right to have eyes that were similar to his coffee when it was under the sun. It was fucking stupid and silly, but yea atsumu reminded him of coffee. and cafes.

—————

Sakusa wasn't one of those people who would spend hours looking at sunsets, who would photograph it whenever it looked pretty. He wasn't. And frankly sunsets were never interesting to him. He never stayed outside just a while longer to see them, he never purposely looked out the window as the sun was setting, he just simply ignored them whenever they appeared. They didn't mean anything to him. ok well that's not entirely true.. he did avoid sunsets, but some days he'd return home right as the sun was setting. those days were the worst, because no matter how much he tried to convince himself that atsumu was there, he always looked around to see if atsumu was there.

—————

Anyways as I was saying. Sakusa barely thought of Atsumu.