I wake up around eight o’clock with having slept five and a half hours. Sam is lying on his left side with his head resting on my chest, and his right hand on my stomach. I’m lying on my back with my left hand behind my head, and my right hand resting on the side of Sam’s head. He seems so small when he’s sleeping compared to when he’s awake even though he’s small originally. I start playing with his hair. Our positions seem to be reversed; for example, last night while we were doing whatever we were doing, I picked him up and held him instead of the guy holding the girl. Another example is right now; usually the girl is the one lying on the guy. This doesn’t upset me at all. I remember when Sam and I were making out last night he mentioned something about me liking him. I don’t remember when I stopped disliking him. I guess it was when he told me I was pretty since I’ve never been told I was pretty before. He wakes up and I pretend I’m sleeping so I close my eyes, and force my breaths to be even. I feel him turn around slowly to look at me. I open my eyes slightly so I can see him, but he can’t see my eyes. I see him smile before he sits up. I close my eyes again fully. A second later, he presses his lips on my cheek and holds them there for a couple of seconds. I try to suppress a smile. Even after his lips leave my skin, I still feel their pressure. I feel his breath on my right ear and he breathes deeply once or twice before whispering, “You’re beautiful.” I should pretend I am sleeping, but I can’t. With closed eyes, I shift my head to where I think Sam’s mouth is, but I end up kissing the tip of his nose. I go with it. I then kiss his lips and feel his moving in sync with mine. “I knew you were awake,” he says.
“You did? How?”
“I saw you try not to smile after I kissed your cheek.”
“I guess I’m bad at suppressing smiles.”
“I was testing to see if you were awake.”
“Oh, I see.” Then silence.
“Kiss me,” he says as he lies down on his back.
“Where?” He touches his bottom lip with one finger. “Is that all?”
“Just kiss me,” he says. I press my lips to his lightly, and then more forcefully after he responds. I get on top of him and put one leg on either side of him like I did last night. Sam touches his neck with his finger so I kiss down the side of his neck while shifting my body too so I am able to kiss lower. When my lips get down to the top of his left shoulder, they move towards the center of his chest. Once they reach his sternum, I put my hands on his stomach. I continue kissing in the center of his body but still moving downwards. By the time I reach the top of his boxers, his body is tense and he grabs my wrist. The sign of pleasure my friend told me about. “Keep going,” he says. My lips move horizontally along the edge of his boxers. He squeezes my wrist tighter taking in a quick breath. My lips return to the center of his body. “Go down,” he says while pulling down his boxers with his free hand. I take my hand out from underneath him, and hold the edge of his boxers not allowing him to expose anymore of his skin. I kiss the skin previously covered by his boxers. “Lower.” I pause after he says this because I fear what is below the edge of his boxers.
“Sam, I-.”
“Please.” He sounds desperate.
“I can’t.”
“Please,” he repeats.
“No,” I say as I get off him. His fingers are still wrapped around my wrist and he gives me a squeeze.
“Come on, Chloe.” He inches his boxers down. I turn away so I can’t see his private parts and run to the bathroom.
