Defending Elizabeth

Chapter 15

Two days after they dined at Rosings, a letter came for Elizabeth. She turned the envelope over in her hand, unable to discern the handwriting. It was obviously not from Jane, and the only other person with whom she corresponded regularly was Kitty. Also, it appeared to be written by a male hand.

Elizabeth opened the letter with trepidation, and looked at the signature before anything else.

"G. Wickham."

Elizabeth felt her stomach drop. It was extremely improper for an unmarried man to send correspondence to an unmarried lady. To do so was sometimes, in itself, seen as a proposal of marriage. Why would Mr. Wickham do something as shocking as sending her a letter?

Her eyes scanned the page, hoping he had not bypassed etiquette because of some sort of emergency. The letter contained only a few lines, and did not seem to point to an emergency.

Dear Miss Bennet,

As I feared, Meryton very keenly feels your loss. I hardly know what to do with myself without you here. I do not believe the sun has shined once since you left.

Denny and I see quite a bit of Lydia. She is as boisterous as ever, and bade me to send her regards when I told her I was writing. I am trying my hardest to watch over her, but, as you know, that is not always an easy task.

I have something I wish to speak with you about as soon as you return. It is of the utmost importance. Please, do come back soon.

G. Wickham

Elizabeth's hands trembled as she held the letter. For what could he wish to talk to her, aside from proposing marriage? It would explain why he took the unusual step of mailing her. She read the letter over once again, and the meaning seemed even clearer the second time. Wickham was hinting he planned to propose.

She sat down hard. She could send no reply to him; one impropriety ought not beget another; but even if she could send a letter, she did not have the slightest idea of what she might say. Of course, she considered the idea Mr. Wickham might propose, but she never had cause to give the idea serious thought. It seemed her time to think was confined to the weeks she remained at Hunsford.

There were many reasons she thought Mr. Wickham would be an amiable husband. He was handsome and good-natured, smart and witty. What woman would not want such things in a husband? But Elizabeth could not convince herself without reservation that she would accept him.

Perhaps what caused her pause was not Mr. Wickham, but rather the idea of marriage at all. She imagined what it might be like to wed someone like Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was also a delightful conversation partner. He did not make her heart beat as quickly as Mr. Wickham, but he was a good man and would make a fine husband. At the thought of marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam, her heart fluttered less, but her head felt calmer. It seemed her issue was not with marriage, but with the man.

She could not think of a single reason she should refuse Mr. Wickham if he asked. Although she could not say she loved him, she liked him quite a bit. Also, since Kitty married Mr. Collins, there was less pressure on Elizabeth to make an advantageous match. But there was something about Mr. Wickham that stuck in her mind like a burr. She could not determine what the issue was, or whether it was a sensible rejection. All she knew was the letter did not fill her with the sort of joy a woman ought to feel at the idea of her sweetheart proposing marriage.

Elizabeth felt as if she was in a fog for the remainder of the day. By bedtime, she was no closer to making a decision than she was been immediately after receiving the letter. Sleep did not find Elizabeth that night for quite some time.