Top Girl

3.

'Fuck. Where's the money?' His friend went unidentified as he kept his hood up around his head and a balaclava covering his features. He held Sully by the coat thrusting him upwards whilst asking.

'Pick up the money blood.' Sully pridefully dropped the money to the ground as he kissed his teeth.

'You know you better use that right now, you know? Mans coming after you fam.' Dushane threatened the pair.

'I ain't gotta do that. Bobby Raikes is gonna do that.' Kamale responded. Raikes must be the big boss, Lydia put two and two together. 'Both of you. I'll see you later.' A big grin was plastered on his face as he left for the stairs.

Before leaving his eyes finally clocked onto Lydia stood in the corner and surprise filled his eyes.

'Ah Lydia, finally following in your brothers footsteps. You know where to come if you want to succeed in this life.' Pointing to himself he was satisfied enough with his stay and left the building. He continued to shout vulgar things down the stairs until he drove away in his car.

Maybe Lydia was more like her brother than she'd ever thought. It was better to be the dealer than the druggie, right?

Each person followed them downstairs and watched the car rapidly drive away. All of them were in disbelief at what just happened, all the food and the money had gone.

'Yo, what you doing here?' Sully noticed Gem stood close to the building observing what was happening.

The boy didn't answer making Sully turn to Dushane.

'You know we're fucked now, innit?' Dushane knew that now they'd lost two lots of Raikes money and food. It would not be good news.

'Come on Lydia, I'll get you home.' Sully led her to his own car.

'Hey Gem, you too. Sully will take you home, right?' Lydia left him with little to no options as the young boy followed them.

As soon as Lydia arrived to the isolated home she went straight to bed, tossing and turning all night as she thought about today's events.

Why wasn't she scared? Maybe she was even a bit excited by todays antics. For once it felt like a spark had been lighted in her mediocre life.

Finally sleep engulfed her making the messy thoughts stop for a little while.

The morning fast approached as Lydia found herself getting ready for the day. Hopping out of the doorstep she made her way to the market to see the boys but they weren't there when she arrived. They must be busy somewhere else.

'Everything okay?' Lydia pressed send as she texted Dushane.

'Hey Lydia, come on!' Her group of girl friends appeared and before she knew it Lydia had forgotten about drugs and money and could be a teenage girl again. Half way through the day Dushane texted back to say it was all fine and he had two weeks to sort it, in other words of course to keep the feds off of their back if it ever came to that.

'Hey Lydia!' As she was making her way home from school the men were back in their usual spot in the market. 'You coming?' Dris asked.

'No.' That was the only answer she gave up.

'What it's been a day and you're already ditching?'

Lydia noticed his car parked close by, two girls lingered in the back with disheveled clothing. When Dushane and Sully approached her to see what was wrong with her the smell of perfume invaded her nostrils making her stomach turn.

'Hey why not? You want a ride home?' Sully asked her.

'Looks like you've got enough company.' Nodding her head in the direction of the car she began her walk again making the two of them shout after her.

'What's even her problem?' Sully asked his friend.

'She's like bipolar or some shit I swear.' Dushane answered resulting in Lydia sticking her middle finger up behind her back, she heard the two of them chuckle at her aggression.

The bath was hot and bubbly on her skin making her cold mood sober up. Once again she found herself alone with her thoughts and that was the darkest place in her life. The room where she beat herself up over and over again about anything she could think of.

A huge knock sounded at the door just as Lydia was redressing, her wet hair fell upon her shoulders causing her hairs to stand up with the cold. Throwing on whichever jacket she could find first she went to see who the mystery visitor was.

'Dushane? What're you doing here?' No emotion was paired with her voice.

'Nice to see you too.' Welcoming himself in he popped the kettle on and got two mugs out of the cupboard. 'Anyway, what's wrong with you today?' After a few minutes of silence Dushane came back in with two cups of tea and sat on the sofa beside Lydia.

'Nothin.'

'Well yesterday and the day before,  and the day before, and the day before you were desperate to start selling with us. And today you don't even wanna know.' Confusion was dancing in his tone.

'I don't know. My minds always a mess at the minute. But that gun shit was a slap in the face Dushane. Guns kill.' It was true, the robbery yesterday had freaked her out. But not for the right reasons, she wanted to feel afraid. But it was like she didn't feel anything.

'Hey don't worry Lydia we'd never let anything happen to you. And plus we've got our own now. Our own straps.' He elaborated on hoping it would give the girl a sense of security.

'So what, you're all armed to kill now?' Lydia's mind drifted to more dark scenarios.

'No we're armed to defend ourselves, our friends, our food and our money.' Dushane listed off all his priorities but Lydia wasn't sure if they were in the correct order of importance.

Simply shaking her head Lydia noted what he was saying but didn't bother to respond.

'I've never known anyone like you Lyd. You can just switch up so fast. Your opinions, your moods. I just don't get it.' Breaking the silence Dushane shook his head as he voiced his concerns.

'I don't want to sell to become a criminal Dushane. I want some company. I want to not have to come home to an empty house every night. I want to not have to stay silent in the loneliness. I want to feel like there's someone there to just simply be there.' Hoping her monologue would make it clearer for him Lydia drank the majority of her now lukewarm tea before setting it back down on the table.

'Tomorrow after school.' Was all he replied with before letting himself out of the warm flat and into the cold night.

To look in the mirror she seemed like an average teenage. She stared back at her reflection and felt nothing. Sometimes she didn't even feel like a person.