Through Smoke and Ashes

Thirty Five||Painful Memories

"Mom..." I hesitated for a moment. She broke eye contact with herself in the mirror, her eyes now resting on mine. She furrowed her eyebrows together as she saw my wavering expression. Just say it already. I took a deep breath in and straightened my shoulders. "I know about Alec."

My mom seemed to go completely still as I watched her in the mirror. She looked like a painting, still and yet so realistic looking it almost seemed like the person could move. I averted my eyes from the mirror to look at her.

"He told me everything," I continued, wishing she would say something. Moments passed before she turned her head, taking a few steps away from me. As she stood with her back to me, I contemplated following her but decided to give her space as she digested this information.

Finally, she turned around. She opened her mouth but closed it just as fast. I could see the inner workings of her mind come to the surface as she took a moment to think of what to say. Her eyes landed on mine. "How is he?"

That's all she had to say? Of all the things I thought she would have said and asked, this is what her mind came to? "He's fine," Is what I said.

"Oh, good," She said, shifting her eyes away from mine. Once again, the two of us stood in silence. The room felt as though it would explode with the amount of tension building around us.

Not being able to take it any longer, I broke the silence. "So, that's it? That's all you have to say?"

She scoffed as she moved around the room. "Oh, Navi dear, I haven't been involved with Alec for twenty-some-odd years. There's hardly anything to say."

"I just told you I know my whole life has been a lie. The least you could do is explain your side of the story."

As I watched my mother recollect her memories, I could see he still meant something to her. She was putting on a front, just as Alec had done many times in front of me when mentioning mom, but she was just as terrible at hiding her feelings as he was.

"We were young, too young to be doing what we were doing. We made mistakes. Put the lives of others at risk all because we were selfish of our feelings." Her words sounded angry, but I could see the clouded haze of loss within her eyes. "I washed up on that island after a storm took down the ship my family and I was sailing on. I had been adrift for days, holding on to a piece of the ship for dear life. Alec found me on the beach, starved and dehydrated, but he brought me back to health. Our love was delirious. Manifested out of my trauma and his longing for a woman. It wasn't natural. But you came out of it, and that was our greatest treasure of all." My mom turned her gaze to mine. Her words tried to hide the true emotions she felt, but I could see it. She still loved him.

"I had been there for a couple of years, learning Alec's way of life. But then soldiers came with their dragons and ships. The island was full of fire and blood, but Alec made sure you and I made it to safety. He told me to say we were held captive against our will." My mom's voice became dry. "We sailed away from that island, and I believed Alec was dead for the longest time until he showed up in my dreams one night." As her facial features softened, I couldn't help but feel sad for the two of them. They loved each other and were forcefully separated when they were in the beginnings of their relationship.

"He still cares for you, mom."

She looked at me with pain in her eyes. "I know," She said softly. I wished she would say she cared for him too, but even if she didn't say it, I could see it.

All too soon, the loving emotions from her eyes disappeared as she straightened her shoulders. "I'm assuming since he's visited you, your Rin blood has surfaced."

I nodded my head.

"And it looks like you're able to hide it well."

I nodded my head again.

"Good. In a world like this, people are not ready for you. There are dangerous people in this world that would go to great lengths to have you."

The words rose to my lips to tell her there were already people out there looking for me. I wasn't sure of their intentions with me, but it obviously wasn't good if it involved dark magic and poisons. "Mom..." I hesitated, unsure of whether I should ask her this or not. But I needed to know. "What do you know about the name Salic?"

My mother's hand stilled in her hair, once again she remained frozen as her thoughts consumed her.

"There are so many secrets about my life that are surfacing. I need to know who I am." I said, encouraging her to speak freely.

She turned to me, sorrow in her eyes as she stroked my cheek. "My maiden name." I blanched, unable to process her words properly. "Or it would be if it didn't come from such a monster. My father and his father before that come from the Salic bloodline. I was told our family kept our real identity a secret, and I didn't know why until I was old enough to understand what was attached to the name." She continued to redo her hair with precise fingers. I stood silently behind her, trying to comprehend what I just learned.

Mom turned around swiftly once she was done with her hair. "Don't trust anyone, Navidean. I mean it. You don't know who could be spying on you." I clenched my jaw at the sudden turn of seriousness in my mom's voice.

I nodded my head without a word.

"Good. Now, let's get back to the family. We've certainly taken quite a large amount of time to fix my hair," Mom chuckled as she moved towards the door.

I followed after her but paused behind her. "Mom?"

"Yes, Navi?"

I bit my tongue as I stared at the fabric of my dress. "Does Ronan Know?"

She turned to look behind her and into my eyes. "He knows about Alec, but he doesn't know about our bloodline."

We exited the room, and as I followed, a heavy feeling settled into my chest. All this time and he knew that I was the child of a Rin. How could he call me his daughter if he knew of what I was? How could he stand to look at me or be around me when he knew what ran in my blood? He must secretly hate me. He must want me dead.

"Silly twoleg," Naxan chimed in. "Naxan sees the way he looks at you, and it is full of love."

I had to shake away my feelings after hearing Naxan. I was letting my own thoughts get to me. He was the man who raised me and taught me what love looks like in a relationship. He stayed with mom even though he knew of our past, and he raised me even though he knew where I came from. He was a good person. I had to remember that.

"All that time to fix something that didn't need fixing?" I heard my dad say as we walked toward him. Dad. I believed I could still call him that, even though I knew who my actual father was. Was it wrong of me to accept the fact I had two father figures? One of blood and one who raised me. The more I thought about it, the more complicated my life seemed to be. I found it best to ignore it for now and continue focusing on my family and that we were finally together after a long year.

Mom put on a smile as she came to stand beside him. "We had our reasons. Navi was giving me my own private tour. Oh, you should have seen it, Ronan, an entire room full of mirrors!" She said happily. They engaged in more conversation, but I wasn't paying attention to what was said next.

I was thinking of Alec and what he had warned me about previously. The internal battle I was having with myself was a losing battle on both ends. I wasn't sure if I should warn the others to prepare for what was to come. Could the others be trusted? I've been told many times that I shouldn't trust anyone and by multiple people at that. How hard of a life it was to think no one in this world could be trusted. The weight I held on my shoulders was immense, but what was I to do? I couldn't handle this alone. I needed help, and I knew people who would be willing to stand by my side.

I had made up my mind. I would find the people I trusted enough and warn them of what was to come. I had to. I couldn't keep them out of the loop and expect them to survive. My warning to them would keep them alive. This would save them.

It was seemingly simple in my head, but if spoken aloud, would it be the same?