A Pirate's Crush

17. Jean, Did You Want This To Be a Date?

He's... on top of me...

He's not saying a word. He's not moving either. He's just... looking at me... with those big eyes...

My heart's beating so fast. My face feels like a bonfire. The world seems frozen around us. No sounds but the gentle eb and flow of the sea...

...w-wait, what am I doing? Why am I just laying here? He needs to get the hell off me! Yeah. Y-Yeah, that's it. So I'll ask him then... since he can't be bothered to do it himself. Just... ask him... to get off me...

...

...

...

...I can't. This lump in my throat... it's sealing off my words. I can't move either. Not that he's pinning me down or anything. He's only crouched over me on all fours. Hell, I could knee him in the gut if I wanted to. So why am I frozen?

It's just... I don't wanna move. I don't want either of us to move. The commander... he looks amazing right now. If we moved, this sight would disappear. The sight of him against the waning sunset sky as evening dissolved into night, with the stars barely peeking through. The fading sunlight accentuated his perfect face like candles. His eyes glimmered like gems. His hair fluttered so playfully in the wind. The very colors of the sky seemed to originate from him like ripples in water.

Is he blushing too? Hard to tell. It's hard to make eye contact with him too. Every time I do, it gives me butterflies. But I can't stop looking back either. I wanna keep looking at him, but I'm behaving like... I dunno... like I don't want him to see me? The hell is this feeling? I can't describe it. I'm nervous, but also strangely... serene.

Commander, what are you doing to me? I can't speak... I can't move... but I kinda like it. I don't understand. Damn you. Just... damn you.

Ugh... why are you just staring, Commander? What are you thinking about?

I-I don't know what to do! Sh-Should I say something? The dumbass ain't doing anything himself.

"Uh..." I murmured, trying to fight the lump in my throat.

Words, Jean! Not sounds! Words!

"Um... h... h-hi."

...hi?! Jean! What the hell was that?! Are you dumb as a brick?!!?!

He managed a chuckle. "Um... hi, Jean."

He spoke in a whisper. A whisper so tender it gave me chills.

"I... I..." I stammered.

Sentences! Complete, coherent sentences, Jean! Get your shit together!

But... he's so close to me...

He was close when ya napped on his shoulder too!

I could just fall asleep there. He wasn't staring into my eyes!

"I-I didn't mean... t-to sidestep with me," I said, feeling my face heat up more.

My voice was soft, but I couldn't speak any louder, as if doing so would shatter reality.

"Sorry..." he mumbled. "Are you okay?"

...I don't know, Commander. If only you could feel how fast my heart's beating.

"Y-Yeah..." I said. "I-I'm fine."

"Oh good," he said. "I was afraid I hurt you."

I managed a soft chuckle. "G-Gotta try harder than that."

Damn it, I can't sound tough when I keep stuttering. And why's he just staring? He's not even sneaking a glance at my chest. He's looking right at me. He's so focused. What's going on in those gorgeous eyes? They're so wide. Is it curiosity? Shock?