Chrollo x Oc (Reader)

16

"You're not close at all, and you won't be satisfied, you'll open a wound in his throat and lie next to his corpse and try to get yourself off, because you'll never be satisfied unless you're worshipped right..

oh god, you want it bad and rough, you want blood in your mouth and tears in your eyes, don't you dear?"

But she didn't respond, she didn't care to, he only heard one single cry escape the man before he went totally silent
he could picture it, how she drove her blade in his throat without hesitation, how the blood spilled on the sheets and she walked away just as easily as she came in at first, but the call was still going on, neither of them hanging up, not yet..

"Is that how you think i want to be worshipped?"
She asked a while later, the sound of her heels clicking against the floor reaching him as he threw his head back and looked at the sky above him, dark but clear.

He was seated in the balcony of an abandoned house in meteor, and she was somewhere in yorknew, so far away from him that he almost felt homesick.

"I know that's how i'd do it"
He didn't feel like hearing her voice, not really, not after that.

He was forgiven, she told him he had been forgiven, but it was his fault to keep forgetting that Eve has always been unfair, and hurting him like this must have fed her her ego.

Because she knows just as much as him, that he desperately needed to be at her side, and he wanted to feel her waist in his hands and her hands on his chest, and he wanted to hold her just like that night, when he was granted forgiveness.

He wanted to hold her so desperately that it made him go insane, but she didn't, not as badly as him anyway.

She was always better than him at pretending that she doesn't feel it, when their lips collide and it feels right, so damn right that all the wrong and right loses all value.

"Goodnight chrollo"
Eve whispered to him before ending the call and he simply threw his phone away, chest rising and falling violently in anger.

It was so hard, being so far, meaning so little to her that she gives him forgiveness only to sleep with someone else with him on the phone, as if she only forgave him because she couldn't care less about it anyway, because it didn't hold any meaning, wether he was forgiven or no, wether he slept at night or his eyes burned wide open as he replayed the sounds in his head over and over again, because that's all he ever knew.

She knew, she knew.. he wouldn't be able to escape his mind, and the things it tells him, and the thoughts that haunt him, and the knife still biting at his flesh to make him focus on the physical pain instead.

And somewhere along the line there were tears streaming down his face as he kept biting on his lips, legs pressed against his chest in the poor excuse of a chair he sat on, watching the sun rise slowly as he tried to forget, but this wouldn't be the first time  that he cried because of her anyway, and chrollo wasn't even that scared of admitting it anymore,
that he grew used to crying thinking about her the same way he got used to sleeping on his own, his fist clenched tightly on the last shirt of his that she wore, even if it no longer smells like her after all these years, it didn't make it any easier, no matter how many times it happened and he told himself it won't hurt as badly anymore, but it still does like it's the first night.