The Concubine's Cannon

Chapter 8: Fighting with Swords and Words

(Author: WARNING! This has Chinese curse words, particularly relating to animals. Please excuse me if anything is too offensive and should be taken down. If it comes to it I will replace the words with other insults.)

"I heard that one of them got sick. Maybe we shouldn't go there today," a particularly large soldier suggests. To his avail, he gets pulled along by the thinner soldier and the shorter soldiers. "We'll be sending her the best of wishes," the thin soldier assures. "Besides. Mei will be there." The short soldier flutters at the thought of his yesterday bride. They make quick work of there only to stop.

"We should go..." The large soldier is interrupted. "I didn't know the General was such a snoop," the shortie speaks loud enough for Shang to snap his head. "Don't tell me you came to watch them again. What did I say about standing your post?" He scowls at them but it only really seems to affect the large soldier. "You do the same thing! What about that one concubine? You seemed to like her. And how do you know we weren't just passing?" He waves his hand towards his superior earning himself another growl.

"I don't.... I'm just guarding them... Ahem." He flushes at the accusations, something telling him they aren't too far off. He stands a little taller in an attempt to offset them but this only seems to please the two goofballs further. "Right.... Well, we're just four guys here. I'm sure you could just let us....." The thin man slinks his arm around the general as he speaks. Giving Shang a smirk he winces a scream when Shang knocks the Thinnies arm off him, locking both wrists together and behind him.
"Keep away from these girls. Is that understood, Ling?" The thin soldier known as Ling nods rapidly. Shang pushes him and he stumbles over to his buddies. "Let's go, Chien Po, Yao." Ling wraps his arm around the back of the large Chien Po and they leave Shang to handle the girls.

"I see the emperor isn't the only one jealous." Shang turns to the sound of the voice, wincing at her disturbing glare. "Mulan..." He whispers her name but she just raises her hand. "What are you doing here?" She raises a brow, attempting to use his own mannerisms against him. "It isn't what it looks like, I assure you. I was just...." He massages his neck as the girl leans closer, waiting for the answer he has yet to find. "Well?" She crosses her arms. "You've been demonstrating to the girl our sword fighting... That could be dangerous."

Her expression softens and she sighs, shaking her head. "If you think they're going to hurt me, you're wrong. If you think they're going to hurt themselves, you're wrong. Well, maybe the little one. Uh. If you think they're going to hurt each other, you're wrong." She focuses on her words, letting her gaze fall. His chest pains to see a woman's expression so distraught.

"I'm sure they're excellent fighters but you need to watch when and where you practice. Soldiers often come here to watch the woman, if they see you all practicing fighting then they'll think something of it." Her head lifts up to face him, his face is a mixture of grimace and anger. "Like you?" She lifts her brow and takes a step back from her words. This wasn't about him, it's about her and the women's safety. "That's not the point. I don't know how you were raised but women don't typically fight. With your forwardness at the meetings, they could link things together." Her expression stiffens as her brows raise with furry. Even if he has a point she won't let tradition get in the way of their training.

"Oh sure. And next, you'll say it's dangerous because we're girls. Shang, we're fine. We can take care of our...." She's interrupted by the rise of his voice. "I didn't say you were a girl! I said, woman." His voice firm and she blinks in surprise. Had he really remembered what she said? She ponders the idea but soon pulls herself out of her trance. "That's not the point. We can take care of ourselves Shang." Her voice is harsh with anger and yet soft with gratitude. "You're going to hurt yourselves if you keep doing this. And people could still see you, at least train at night."

"The group is too big. Besides, it's worked out so far. They all think it's a part of a dance." She tries to reassure him but it does little to help. "I figured it out. Men aren't as stupid as you think." Her mouth gaps opened at the words he put in. When had she ever said that? "I never said men were stupid. Maybe some are unfair but I never said stupid." She practically spits out the response as Shang narrows his eyes. "We both know you think it. The first time I met you, you were yelling about being high and mighty. Did you forget the threat you were making?" He walks away. She scuffs. "So I'm the bad guy! At least I don't watch girls during my free time. And don't think I didn't see you." His face flushes and he turns around to yell. "Don't think I don't see you staring at me during training!"

"Why you!" They bicker and bicker in front of the door, pointing out flaws, insulting one another, and even gabbing each other about their genders. "Fox spirit," Shang calls out. "Pig head," Mulan retorts. "I should've known all women are good for is sex and children. You can't even do simple housework. Put me back onto my regular schedule." He waves his hand and begins to leave. "I should've known men were just sex driven slobs." She huffs and flicks her hair away. "Consider it done."

As Mulan walks in she finds her friends barricading the door with anticipation. "What was that all about?" Ai, the youngest girl asks. "Who let her listen in?" Mulan sneers and they all point to Qi. "As usual."
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"She won't listen to reason! She just thinks I'm trying to insult her. I mean, I did. But she insulted me first! Why is she so difficult?" He presses his hands into his face as the general takes another sip of his drink. Though Shang has never been a drinker, he's certain Mang is the only person he can speak of this with. Even if it's just for her safety, he's more concerned with that than his own embarrassment. "See where she's coming from." He plops the cup down and Shang raises his brow.

"She's been ridiculed her whole time here, the only reasons she's even here is because of her body, and she hasn't even passed the matchmakers test." Shang raises his other brow, a surprised expression on his face. "How do you know so much about her?" He furrows his brows again, pairing it with a frown. "Who doesn't know about Fa Zhou's daughter? A flunked concubine who hasn't even done IT yet, as you say. She has men ask her every so often, she gets pocked fun at, and she actually knew how to fight, even before you started training her. One of my friends still has a scratch mark from the last time he tried to summon her." He chuckles a little at the memory of the scar.

"Oh great." Shang flops his face back into his hands. "I said that women are good for nothing but sex and here I find out she's fighting to keep her virginity. Wait. How does a concubine go without sex?" He raises his head only to get a shrug. "Beats me. The old man probably doesn't have enough time on his hand." With that Shang releases a sigh. "I messed up." Mang pats his back. "I know you did."

The sound of humming comes along with a tray of drinks. "Just drink it down. Thank you, Chi." The little guy hums again and Mang drinks to whatever he said. He glugs down his beer and again rests it on the table. "Hey, you can make it up at the next....wait. No. You can't." His words begin to slur as his memory begins to swirl. Once again the general raises his head. "If you're going to get drunk then I think I should go."

Despite the pouts from the elongated shortie, he leaves. With the meeting starting up soon and night coming soon after that. He has a lot to think about.

Author: Hello!!! I feel like this chapter isn't as bad as I made it out to be but I'm honestly afraid that it might be much despite the fact that nobody actually reads this. Either way, I hoped you enjoyed it!

Fun fact: (note, this fact comes from mythopedia. I have no idea how true or not it is like most of my facts.) Huxian is a fox deity from northern China and was the descendant of Queen Mother of the West. Huxian has the ability to be in a male form but is most commonly known for their nine tail fox or "Fox fairy woman" as their name translates to. Húxiān Niángniáng (狐仙娘娘)

Author: I tried to write a story based off of Huxian and other Chinese legends of nine tail celestial foxes (I can't remember if they're actually celestial or not.) but ended up getting bored. The idea of it was that she was set up from a crime and lost her powers thus putting her into a deep sleep for thousands of years to one day week up in the hands of a dog pound. She ended up being saved but now she has to solve a crime thousands of years old with only flashes of her memory and some way too ambitious animal rescue teenagers. Long story short, I couldn't figure out the intro and gave up on the 4th chapter. Tell me if you want me to post some of the ideas for it during specials and stuff!