Again

One more

I open my eyes to see I am surrounded by white walls. Alone. Not again. The door to the padded room opens, and I sit up, seeing a man in white scrubs coming in. "Hey there Lilith. Are you ready to rejoin the others?" He asks, his voice soft and cautious. The others.

I stand up, watching him closely as we walk through start white halls. He leads me to a big room with other people, all dressed in grey shirts and sweatpants. "I'll get you something to eat and then you can have your session."

I sit down at a table and stare at my hands. I can't feel them. I can't feel any of them. Where did you go? Rex...Kana... everyone. The man comes back and sits a tray with a peeled banana, piece of toast, and a carton of milk in front of me. He wants me to eat? I be dammed if I'm eating anything here.

I reach up to push a piece of hair out of my face before shock rippled through me. Brown. Not red. "Lilith, if you aren't going to eat, I'll take you to your session early. Let's go," he says before taking my arm and pulling me out of the room. After more walking, he stops in front of a white door and knocks on it. "Dr Coatsville, I brought Lilith for you." He says before opening the door and pushing me in, shutting it behind me.

"Lilith, welcome back. Please take a seat," the lady behind the desk says, motioning to a dark red leather couch. I stay standing by the door, watching her. "Or you can stand. It's your choice." Nothing here is my choice. "How are you feeling today?" How am I feeling? I'm alone! How the hell do you think I'm feeling!? "What would you like to talk about today?"

I clench my fist down, gritting my teeth. "I'm not staying here," I say, hoping whoever put me here hears it.

"Once you aren't a danger to yourself or others, and we work through everything with you, you are free to leave. Now then, what would you like to talk about today?"

"I'm not a danger to anyone!" I bark, expecting her to fly across the room, but she doesn't.

"Lilith, you tried to kill yourself just the other day, and you killed your sister after going on about dream demons. Does that not qualify as a danger?"

That's not right. Royal blood does not end its own life for sport. I wouldn't do that, and I wouldn't kill anyone without reason. I look down to see bandages on my wrists. I wouldn't have done that. "This isn't real. None of this is even real!"

"You're right about things not being real, but I assure you, this is all very real. The demons and witches you go on about aren't. You aren't a princess, you don't have a panther protecting you, and you most certainly don't have a group of soldiers standing by you. You haven't had a single visitor since you've been here."

"They aren't soldiers! Soldiers are brainless and expendable! They are my warriors, and you won't disrespect them in my presence!"

"They don't exist Lilith! How can something that doesn't exist be disrespected?"

"You're wrong! They exist and this whole place doesn't! I'm not going to be trapped here away from my family!"

"You killed your family Lilith."

"Liar!" I scream, but nothing happens. No magic, no fire. Nothing. That's not right. When I scream, some kind of magic always reacts. Why didn't it work?

"I see we aren't getting anywhere today Lilith. Do come back when you are ready to talk." She says before the man comes back in and takes me by the arm again, pulling me back to the room.

The padded white room. Silent. Alone. I kneel in the center of the room and rest my forehead on the ground. "Hekate, goddess of witches and doorways. Grant me the gift of the key to leave this world behind. Give me the strength to find my sisters in craft and in life. Hekate guide me home." Nothing. No change in light, no opening doors. Nothing. Just silence. This isn't real. This can't be what's real.

I sit up, feeling tears streaming down my face before I scream. "GET ME OUT OF HERE. LET ME OUT," I scream before letting out a loud sob at the end. "Please find me, K....R..." Who am I calling for? What are their names? Why would I call for anyone? I'm alone.