Three Years Old

Chapter Thirty

     ‘Beth, what the hell is going on?’ she asked me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

     I hiccupped when I opened my mouth to try and speak, so instead I took deep breaths and rubbed my face, trying to get it dry. ‘Blake,’ I managed to whisper. ‘You know I love you, right?’

     Blake’s long, thin eyebrows creased together with concern. ‘Babe, you have to tell me what’s going on,’ she insisted. ‘You’ve really got me worried.’

     ‘And,’ I added. I paused to sniff and wipe my face of the new tears that had leaked out. ‘You know I would never do anything to hurt you.’

     Blake started looking around the drive. It didn’t seem like she was really paying any attention to what I was saying, but I knew that she was. She looked back at me, straight in the eyes, and just stared for a moment.

     ‘Beth,’ she started, her voice dropping to the same volume as mine. ‘Where’s Flick?’ She sounded even more concerned now – if that was possible. I couldn’t say anything; I was too disgusted with myself. I couldn’t believe that I would betray Blake like that, but somehow, I was sitting here on the ground, and it had happened.

     ‘Where’s Flick?’ Blake repeated, loud and urgently. I choked on my tears, trying desperately to explain.

     ‘Debby –‘ I managed to say.

     Blake tightened her grip on my shoulders, staring frantically into my eyes. ‘What about Debby?’ I hiccupped, trying to speak, but I couldn’t. ‘Is Flick with Debby?’

     I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut because I didn’t want to see Blake’s face. ‘She took…’ I managed, before my tears stopped me again.

     ‘Beth, Beth,’ she said, pulling me into her and holding me tight. ‘Calm down. We’ll get her back, Debby can’t go anywhere, remember? She doesn’t have a car.’

     I hid my face in her hair, sniffing and trying to control my tears. ‘What if she borrowed one to get here?’ I pointed out. Blake pushed me back, holding me in front of her at arms length.

     ‘She mentioned to me earlier that she’d come by train,’ she told me. ‘It’s okay. She’ll be in St. David’s somewhere. Let her have Flick for tonight, we’ll find them in the morning.’

     I pushed Blake’s arms away, wiping my face. ‘But… I just keep thinking of Flick,’ I said, trying not to let out any tears as I did. ‘She must be terrified.’

     Blake shook her head at me with a weak smile. ‘No, she won’t be,’ she insisted. ‘It’s Debby, Flick loves her. She probably thinks Debby’s just looking after her while we close the gallery. She’ll have no idea what’s going on.’

     ‘The gallery…’ I whispered.

     Blake caressed my shoulder. ‘It’s fine, everyone left, I closed up and I was just coming back here hoping to climb into bed with you.’

      ‘But what are we going to do?’ I asked, feeling more stable now, but still not as calm about the situation as Blake was being. ‘We can’t just go to sleep with no idea where Flick is. Debby was drunk, who knows where she is.’

     ‘Okay, I’ll try and find her, I’ll call her, I’ll call everyone,’ she told me. ‘But you need to sleep.’

     I shook my head at her vigorously. ‘How can I sleep when I don’t know where my baby is?’

     Blake moved her hand to the back of my head and pulled me in so that our foreheads were touching. ‘Because you’ll know that I will do everything I can to find her,’ she whispered at me. I didn’t reply, just sniffled slightly, still feeling weepy even though I’d managed to stop crying. ‘Beth come on, you’re still a bit drunk too, and hysterical, you need to sleep it off.’

      I nodded, like a little toddler reluctantly giving into something they really didn’t want to do. Blake took one of my arms and helped me stand up, leading me to the door and into the hallway, closing the door behind me.

     ‘Oh, I forgot about that,’ I muttered, seeing the pieces of glass in the doorway of Flick’s room. ‘I was getting a glass of water for Debby and when I came out she was gone and when I saw that she’d taken Flick I dropped it.’

     Blake led me along the hallway to the door of our room, both of us stepping carefully over the glass. ‘That’s okay, I’ll clear it up,’ she said.

     We’d just reached the door and I turned around to face her. ‘But Flick!’ I cried.

     ‘I’ll clear up the glass first,’ she told me, not leaving an option. ‘We don’t want to hurt ourselves.’

     I shrugged and lifted up my arm. ‘Already have,’ I pointed out, showing off the cut on my arm where I’d been hit by a piece of flying glass.

     ‘Well, I’ll get you a plaster,’ she said, pushing me backwards into our room. Once in I sat down on the bed, seeing that there was nothing else for me to do. Blake started taking off my shoes, and then my dress, until I was only in my underwear, and she pushed me again so that I was lying down. She disappeared for a minute and I just lay there, not able to move, not even feeling that strong.

     When she reappeared she had a plaster in her hand, which she very gently put on my arm, and then kissed it once she was done. She manoeuvred the duvet over me and kissed me on the forehead.

     ‘Blake, how come you’re so calm and I’m not?’ I asked her before she left. ‘You’re normally the one that worries.’

     Blake was standing in the doorway, still wearing her long, blue dress. She shrugged at me. ‘A couple of weeks ago, it just suddenly hit me that everything’s gonna be great,’ she told me. ‘No matter what happens, the life we lead here, it’s going to be a happy one. Flick’s going to love it here, and the gallery will be successful enough. This is where we’re supposed to be.’

     I rolled onto my side, digging one of my hands under the pillow my head was resting on. ‘How do you know?’ I asked.

     ‘I can just feel it,’ she told me. ‘Trust me.’ I nodded, closing my eyes. ‘Try to sleep babe, I’ll deal with everything.’