1: The New Red Room Assassin

Chapter 17

Ana's POV

They walked in my cell with lunch. A tuna sandwich, an apple, a glass of juice and a glass of water. I drank both the juice and the water, and munched away on the apple first. I stared at the sandwich in front of me, I was used to not eating for days at a time. On missions, or when I was being tortured this wasn't uncommon. But something about feeling hungry at the moment was nice, I used to hate it in the Red room, but right now it took away from everything else. It helped numb things. Made me feel stuff less. I didn't want Nat to worry though, or for her to get involved, so I grabbed the sandwich, broke it into small pieces and flushed it down the toilet.

I sat back down in the cell and waited for the guards to collect the tray. When they came in, the usual gun pointing tray collecting duo, I smiled at them. They didn't return it. Soon I was alone again.

I hate the loneliness of this room. In the Red room unless we were being punished, we were in a large dormitory of girls. Being in this cell sucked, I had nothing to do but think. To remember. To question things.

Training was during the morning, the afternoons were full of staring at the wall, or occasional meetings with doctors, or Fury and Steve, or one to one sessions with the Avengers.

The doctors appointments were my least favourite part of the week, they kept telling me I need to see a psychologist, but talking about my problems seemed like a waste of time. I'd rather stuff it back in the box and move on with my life. I mean it was getting harder to do that, the stupid box kept fucking opening and bringing all the thoughts, memories and feelings to the surface, but I was managing to stuff it all back down again, just about.

It would also require trusting this person. I don't trust people. Trusting, relying on someone only gets you killed. I already hated that I was starting to find Natalia safe, let alone adding another human being to the mix. Safe was not the same as trusting though, I repeated this to myself a lot. A stupid psychologist would probably call this denial, but I know those two things are very different, they had to be.

The psychologist would also snitch to all the Avengers and Fury about my personal problems, they'd all see how somewhere deep down inside of me is a broken person. I couldn't show that kind of weakness.

After this morning I must have been tired, because the next thing I know I'm curled up on the mat and drifting off to sleep.

Nat's POV

I was in my room sharpening my knives when FRIDAY informed that Ana had in fact completed her lunch. I smiled to myself, I knew I was worrying over nothing.

However I shouldn't have smiled too soon because FRIDAY continued to say that Fury and Dr Banner wanted to speak to me.

———

When I entered Fury's office, I noticed as well as himself and Bruce, Maria was also there. I didn't react to this revelation and instead asked calmly what was going on.

"Ana is refusing to see a psychologist" Fury said bluntly, I was aware of this already, and failed to see what it had to do with me.

"There is not much we can do in the continuation of her progress without adequate psychological intervention" Bruce continued, "she needs to speak to someone about what is going on, she needs help"

"And you want her to speak to me?" I asked confused, I was hardly the most qualified, I mean Sam did this for a living, well a side job.

"No we don't, you have many skills, but being a psychologist is not one of them Agent Romanoff" Fury stated simply, to which I shrugged,