The Show Must Go On [boyxboy]

The Show Must Go On {19}

                I threw open my front door, letting myself into the house. Link barked and ran over to me, pressing his nose against my hand.

                “Not now,” I said, pushing his head away.

                He whined and licked my arm. I sighed, sitting on the ground, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my face against his fur. He barked and licked my arm again before nuzzling his head against my shoulder.

                Vesper curled up in my lap, pawing at my chest. He meowed curiously, and I stroked his fur.

                I pushed my pets off gently and stood up. I went to my bedroom, staring at my bed, wishing Neo was here to cuddle with on it.

                I yanked my phone out of my pocket, dialing a familiar number. I waited as it rang, feeling impatient and anxious.

                “Hello?”

                Scott’s voice drifted through to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but my words dried up on my tongue.

                “Hello? Alexander?” Scott said. When I remained silent, he spoke again. “Alexander, where are you? Are you okay?”

                I hung up the phone, throwing it across the room and sinking down against my closet. I hugged my knees to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut.

                “I deserved it,” I whispered to myself. “I deserved it.”

                Of course I expected for someone to do that to me eventually. I had hurt a lot of people in the past; karma would catch up with me eventually.

                But I never thought it would be Neo. I thought he had really loved me. He had been so sincere. Had he just panicked when he saw Donnie?

                But no…no, he hadn’t just panicked. Something about the way he went about it said he had meant every word he had said.

                “Fuck,” I said, gripping a handful of my hair and tugging it.

                I stared at my phone, which was lying on the floor. I could call my parents and ask them to come home so I didn’t have to be alone. They would come right home for me. But I didn’t want them to worry about me.

                I could call my friends and ask them to come over. I knew Bennett and Scott well enough to know they would come over no matter how angry they were. But I also didn’t want to listen to them telling me “we told you so”.

                I closed my eyes, trying to block out memories of the last time this had happened. Remembering the way Jake had cut off our relationship out of nowhere, with absolutely no warning for me.

                Pushing myself to my feet, I went over to my nightstand and yanked open the top drawer. I pulled my sleeping pills out and chucked them at the wall, watching them explode all over my floor.

                “I deserved this. Fuck! Fuck, I deserved this!” I yelled furiously. I’d always had it coming for me. I’d gone through boy after boy after boy. Did I even have a right to be hurt right now?

                I collapsed on my bed, my hands covering my face. My friends would find out by the time they saw me tomorrow. Bennett always found things out. Maybe I could just skip school tomorrow. My parents would never even know.