Harry and Y/N Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

CHAPTER 5: MORONS AND BIASED BELIEF

Everyone was sitting in the Defense against the dark arts classroom chatting amongst themselves. Y/N was sitting with Hermione wondering what to expect, and Hermione didn't think it would be anything beneficial since it was Lockhart teaching the class.

Just the Lockhart stepped out of his office and said, "Let me introduce you to your new defense against the dark arts teacher, me." He then began descending the stairs saying, "Gildeory Lockhart, order of Merlin: third class. Honorary member of the Dark force defense league, and five times winner of witch weekly's most charming smile award. But I don't want to talk about that. I didn't get rid of the bandon banchee by smiling at her."

Y/N whispered to Hermione,
"We're dead." Hermione grabbed Y/N's hand, "We'll study proper defense later." She told him.

After some giggling, Lockhart said, "I see you all bought a complete set of my books, well done." He then grabbed a stack of papers and said, "Now I thought we could start this lesson with a little quiz."

He then handed out the quiz and said, "Nothing to worry about, just to see how much you have taken in."

Y/N and Hermione looked through their quizzes. "These questions are about him." Hermione said, "How full of himself is this guy?" Y/N asked.

1. What is Gildeory Lockhart's favourite color?

2. What is Gildeory Lockhart's secret ambition?

3. What, in your opinion, is Gildeory Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

Y/N was looking through it to see if there were any questions about defensive magic

51. When is Gildeory Lockhart's birthday and what is his ideal birthday present?

Lockhart said, "You have thirty minutes, start."

"I am not playing this game with him." Y/N said. "Go ahead and answer them your way, and have fun." Hermione said.

Y/N wrote his answers for the following questions.

1. Shit brown

2. To grow a spine

3. Convincing people that he did everything in his books.

Y/N answered the questions in the following way and was smiling the whole time, much to Hermione's delight. He eventually got to the last question, where he wrote the following.

51. Leap year, and a box of Troll sperm and Dragon dong explode in his face.

Y/N showed his quiz to Hermione, who was already done. She then giggled at the answers.

Lockhart called time and collected the papers. He looked through them and said, "Tut tut, hardly anyone remembers that my favourite color is Lilac, I said so in Year with the Yeti. And I think some of you need to reread Wandering with Werewolves because I said that my ideal birthday present was harmony between all magical and non-magical people, though I wouldn't say no to a bottle of fire whiskey."

He then winked at the class, causing some of the girls to giggle and most of the boys to want to puke out their breakfast, Y/N, Harry, Ron, and Malfoy included.

He then continued, "But Miss Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition was to rid the world of evil, and create my own brand of hair care potions. In fact full points to Miss Granger."

Hermione automatically wrapped her arms around Y/N's arm, wondering if Lockhart had a crush on her, causing Y/N to reach for her saber.

Lockhart then took out his wand and said, "Now, be warned. It's my job to arm you against the foulest creatures of wizard kind." He then tapped an object covered in a red cloth, causing it to shake.