Between the Blacks

21

"So what were you doing walking the streets alone on Christmas Eve with a bottle in hand anyway?", I laughed.

"Being summoned by you, I suppose", he took a swig.

I took a deep breath and laid back against the snow.

"It's your first Christmas Eve without her, isn't it?", I glanced up at him.

He pursed his lips and took another swig, "I do not wish to talk about the gifts I do not receive this year."

I nodded and knew he'd rather keep it in and knew better than to press him about it.

"Then I understand that you may be perfectly happy to allow me to pour all of my problems on you, then?", I smiled cheekily and sat up.

"I suppose I am indebted to you for the advice that you gave me, even if it helped in no way", he scoffed and handed me the bottle.

"Beautiful", I cheered to the sky and took a swig.

••••

"So you have two boys that you cannot decide between?", he said lightening up after we had knocked half the bottle, "Doesn't seem like the worst thing in the world."

"But I cannot have one without the other", I groaned, "I've noticed this now."

"It'd help me better to know the names of these two interests-"

"Oh heavens no!", I laughed, "You would be all too biased."

"My point, exactly", he grinned.

I laughed and shook my head.

"I just know that I cannot be without either of them. If I choose one, I lose the other. If I choose neither, I lose parts of myself."

"Well, which version of you do you like better?", he asked, "In other words, which person brings out the version of you that you cannot live without?"

I sighed and thought about it.

"Well, with Re-", I caught myself, "With one of the boys, I feel like the epitome of the person I have always yearned to be. I am witty and indulgent in the important things of life. We share a romance that makes my soul feel like I've known him in a past life. We talk about energy, the way the wind blows through the trees, the way our eyes are magnetic toward each other."

I paused and laughed about it, "It's so strange because if you were to tell me that he was as deep, if not deeper of a person than I were, I would have laughed. He's serious, but not in a way that is off-putting."

"Not like I", Snape interjected with a smirk.

"Right", I laughed, "It's like he is more poetic than intimidating. No offense."

"None taken", he nodded slowly.

"I truly believe I could not live without him", I whispered and continued, "He has been the other half of me my entire life."

I paused and looked to the sky, "It's like I am half full, as is he, but when we are together we burn brighter than the most glorious star."

Snape nodded and looked at me, "And the other?"

I shook my head and smirked, "The other I absolutely hated", I admitted. "He was arrogant and cruel, annoying and sarcastic...but for some reason I've always been drawn to him. Every time I attempt to avoid him, he crashes every barricade I have set up between us. I am hard-headed and stubborn with him, yes, but I am also powerful and outgoing and...free."