[DISCONTINUED] (HisokaxReader)

Chapter 6: Remembering

(The video is for a mood lifter as it is titled "hisoka edits that are guaranteed to make you weak at the knees") A/N: This chapter will be about the "readers" past. This contains talk of (and almost) child  rape along with other traumatic experiences and swearing. If anything about that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to skip. <3 ~

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

"Hold her still damnit!"

"I'm trying! The little bitch bit my fucking finger!"

"Let me go! Let me go let me go let me g-" stopped in my tracks, a hard, calloused hand back-handed me in the face.

"Speak when spoken to, brat." the one with the hurt finger said. "That's for my finger."

"B-but, i'm only eight mister! P-p-p-please let me go. My mom might still be breathing!" I stuttered out. I'd never been hit before. It, hurt.

Then, another smack, and another, and another, and then, just before the next one came, the hand was stopped dead in its tracks. The hand of the man hitting me fell softly to my left, along with a heavy weight being put on me.

Opening my eyes with hesitation, I see the man's lifeless body on me, along with the other man quickly and quietly being killed. 

But no one is touching him. Thinking to myself quietly, I forget about everything, including my mom and dads lifeless bodies on the kitchen floor. Including the heavy body on me. Including the other man dead on the floor of my living room. Including the person talking to me.

Wait, someone's talking to me. Who is she. What is she saying. Why does she look worried.

Zoning back into reality, I only catch the end of this strange new woman's speech.

"-touch you?" 

Touch me? They touched my hands. My face. My legs. They didn't touch my "special parts" tho. Tell  her they didn't touch you anywhere bad. Tell her you will be ok.

" N-Not anywhere inappropriate miss." I replied.

She sighed and gently put her hands on my shoulders, carefully pulling into a soft embrace. Looking behind her, I look down, seeing my parents. It all came flying at me. But instead of going hysterical, I simply pushed myself out of this woman's arms. I stood up and reached out for my mother and father. Just before reaching them, the floor engulfed me and I was thrown into my middle-school years.  

"Y/N!" My sensei called. She didn't call my name like she usually does. This time, it was done with care and sorrow, a tone I haven't heard since I was eight. "I want to bring up the subject of when we first met. Is that alright with you?" she asked, hesitant with her words. Nodding in agreement, calling upon every second. 4 years later, now finally 12 years old, I still hadn't forgot anything. Every second was as clear as when it was happening.

"Those men who attacked you and your family," she started, "used blades to slit your parents throats. However, I killed both men, with nothing more than a flick of a wrist, even then, I still didn't touch them at all. You see, I didn't touch them physically. I did it with something called nen. It uses your life aura, something that normal people lose throughout their lifetime." she said, taking pauses when needed to attend to her tea. Handing me a hot cup of oolong tea, she sat down across from me, looking up to see if I was showing any signs of knowledge. 

Sitting with my same, blank faced expression, she sighed. I started talking. 

"Actually, i'm pretty sure I saw one of the men die, and no one was touching them."

She looked up and softly smiled. "Yes indeed, that was my nen and I want to teach you to use it too. But I can't just yet. The thing is, you aren't as stable as you seem. Staying with me is doing you no good. I think i'm holding you back from becoming a great person. So make a promise to me. Promise me that if you want to keep living with me, and if you want to learn about Nen, that you start becoming more of a person. Go find some good friends, find some hobbies, join a few after-school activities!" she encouraged.

Nodding in agreement, I smiled up at her. Before she could smile back, it went dark, and I was thrown further into my middle school years.

Coming home from my volleyball game, she looked down upon me, and smiled warmly. "It's time." was all she said. Smiling up at her excited, we started training right away. Within days, I was able to see aura, and a few days after that, I found out my nen type. "You are a specialist, with a strong conjurer base. It will be very interesting to see what you decide to make your primary nen, y/n. I'm so proud of you."

Darkness taking me again, this time putting me deep into my highschool years. I had hit a roadblock with my nen. 3 years after discovering my nen type, I still hadn't decided what I wanted my primary nen to be. Nothing had jerked me in the right direction yet. Because of this roadblock, we only practiced nen twice a month, so even now I didn't know everything.

Coming home to see my savior and sensei, I was planning on surprising her when I didn't feel her nen. Walking inside with a big smile on my face, it quickly faded when I saw her dead body on the floor, along with a trashed kitchen and the sight of at least three figures jumping out of the window. 

Running over to the dead body of the woman and savior that had been with me for almost half my life, I see a note stabbed into her back. Taking the note out and flipping her body over I notice that her blue, flame shaped earrings are gone, along with some skin where a fire-shaped birthmark was supposed to be. 

Reaching for the note, I read it with caution.

"This is the price for being one of the last survivors of the Blue Whirl Clan, should anyone else from this clan read this note, know that we are coming for you next.~ Phantom Troupe. {pretend with me that there is a spider drawing here.}"

Blue Whirl Clan? Phantom Troupe? Spider? I don't understand. The same, crushing feeling that I felt when I was eight quickly returned. Being taken to my new foster home was the next and final memory before I left for the hunter exam.

Being pushed to do my best, even when my best wasn't good enough, I kept my smile, for secret hopes of being able to avenge my savior, my everything. That was what I wanted. Starting college, I realized that there was no point. A college degree wouldn't help me catch the Troupe, a Hunter's License would. The hunter exam.

________________________________________________________________________________

Waking up in a furious cold sweat, I look up to see myself leaned up against a tree. Seeing Leorio a few feet away from me, I struggle to stand up, after being scared out of my mind after reliving my entire life in a dream. Then, behind me on my way to Leorio, all I hear is a sly humming laughter.

Shit.

(I apologize for the dark chapter but hopefully the video helps make you feel a little better. Trauma isn't something to joke about. You are loved! <3)