Change of Heart

chapter 37

He was just nervous... scared even. Preparing himself for when he wouldn't be seeing Isaac nearly every day. A week without Isaac had already been torturous for him, now imagine months... even years. Isaac hadn't told him yet but he already knew that he'd got an early offer to Michigan whilst Zavier was planning to go to Washington.

He zoned back in but didn't pay attention to the words spewing out of Isaac's mouth and instead vocalised his thoughts, whispering them very quietly. "I think we should stop seeing each other." I think we should end this?

"What?" Isaac's rant came to an end as his question came out breathy, trying hard to look into Zavier's eyes but Zavier didn't look up. "You don't mean that."

"Yes I do." Zavier felt his voice waver a bit, forcing the courage in him to look up into Isaac's eyes, regretting it as soon as he saw the worry written all over Isaac's face. He had done this so many times with other girls yet Isaac's was different. He was normally in control because he was the emotionless one. After having to do this a few times, he had soon grown accustomed to it but with Isaac, he actually felt something- but it was too late to feel. Time wasn't on their side and Zavier was not prepared at all for when the time would come for them to be forced to split.

Isaac stepped forward, hoping Zavier would utter the words that he was joking but he never did, instead he stepped away, shaking his head at Isaac. "We're not good together. We were more like a casual hookup, experimenting... but it got way too out of hand." Zavier forced the words out. He didn't believe one thing he was saying himself; if it was just a casual hookup, why would he look forward to talking with Isaac all the time? Why would Isaac be the only thing to consume his mind at all times? Why would he make every opportunity to be as close to Isaac as possible?

Zavier pushed the thoughts down. He was saving himself the heartbreak, he told himself, he would have found a different way to screw it up anyways in the future so it was better he ended it here before he could screw it up more or even worse, Isaac would be the one to do it.

"Is this a joke?" But Zavier shook his head again. "I'll see you back in there." Zavier simply entered back into the room where their parents were with what looked like to Isaac with no remorse whatsoever but Zavier knew if he had stayed any longer he would've given in and exposed his true worries.

Isaac had no choice but to silently enter back into the room after Zavier, masking on a smile for his mom who barely glanced up at him. His thoughts were a whirlwind though as he tried to understand why Zavier was saying this. Was this why he had been ignoring him? To try and lessen the pain?

Because it hadn't worked at all.

Isaac felt as shit as he know he would've felt even if Zavier had announced this a week ago before the ignoring. Zavier... was ready to throw this whole thing away. After all the opening up Isaac had gave to him, after all the emotional words that had been exchanged... after all the touches that had meant everything to him but apparently less to Zavier.

Isaac peered up, catching Zavier's eye for a millisecond before Zavier instantly diverted his gaze to the walls.

Too ashamed to even look at him, Isaac thought. It honestly felt like a lump had grown on his heart, he just didn't believe Zavier would throw him to the side like that.

Yes, Isaac knew that Zavier was known for his flings. In fact, he was one of the people who would speak up against them, labelling Zavier different synonyms of player in much less nicer ways, but he had never dreamed that one day he would be in the position of those same naive girls.

Isaac stood up with his cup and went to the kitchen for some water, ignoring Zavier's not so subtle attempts to try and look at him. So fixated in his thoughts, Isaac underestimated how close the kitchen island was and felt his toe meet the edge before expected.