Save Myself // Larry Stylinson

Chapter 9

He sighed, "I don't really want to talk about this right now,"

"Right now?" Lottie was better at rage than any other human being he'd ever met, "you've never talked about it. Not to me anyway. Mum's too fucked up to get it. No one gets it, Louis, because you don't say anything. You're just a fucking martyr. Do something for yourself, Louis, just call Harry. He's good. You need good. You deserve good,"

Louis needed to shut this down before it got too much further out of hand. Lottie didn't have a clue what she was talking about. What did she honestly think was happening with Harry? She was giving him way too much credit here.

"Please stop," his voice was tired

"I just wish you'd open your eyes, Louis,"

And he wished the same of her. He wished she was older, that maybe she knew more about the world so she could understand the deeper workings of life. People didn't just get the things they wanted. They got the things they deserved. Louis had messed up time and time again, he'd already done it with Harry. He'd already blown all the chances he had at being Harry's friend. Lottie didn't get it though, she didn't see the world for what it was. Maybe he didn't want that for her, though. He wasn't sure if it was better for her to understand or to go on living in the pretty world she saw. He didn't want her to know darkness the way he had, but he did wish she understood that he knew it.

The minute Lottie had left his room, Louis crawled back into his bed. It was Saturday. That meant he had to make it through today and tomorrow before his life went back to normal and he had his routine to distract him. It was going to be a long couple of days, that was for sure. But he could probably sleep a good chunk of them off. There were hundreds of things on his mind, but he was still too emotionally exhausted to be able to address them. So he pulled the covers over himself and laid face first in his pillow.

He heard his phone chime before he even got comfortable. It was a strange thing for him, because he was still so used to the radio silence of his past. He'd spend more time texting in the past couple of weeks than he ever really had in the past. He picked up the phone and when he glanced down at it, he saw that he'd already gotten three texts from Harry that morning, but the most recent one was from Lottie. He felt a lot less panicked by Lottie's text, so he opened that one first.

Lottie: Text him

Well. That was straight to the point. He could imagine her in the room next to his, sitting on her bed and obsessing over his life. It made him chuckle a bit, because, really, after all the shit he'd put his family through, he was pretty lucky to have Lottie on board in any way.

Opening Harry's texts wasn't as easy. But he did it.

Curly: At the risk of really over-doing things (since you didn't answer any of my texts last night) I just wanted to say like 500 more things... Like for starters, I'm sorry if I scared you. Believe me when I say that I really, really did not want that to be the end result here. I know that you know I saw your arm in class yesterday, and, yeah that freaked me out. Maybe I was way out of line asking you anything, but I just don't want to see you suffer because no one ever told you that you have another option.

Curly: Also, I'm telling you. You have another option. I genuinely want to be your friend, Louis. There's nothing more to it, I promise. I just think we're good. You made me laugh, and I've been so stressed out and scared with the move and everything, but you made me not think about any of that. I'm not trying to push you or back you into corners. You don't have to talk to me about those things, but I just want you to know you can.

Curly: Also, last thing, I swear. But I'm off today and it might be one of the last warm days before winter, and I'd like to like, go for a walk or something. Maybe you'd want to spend the day with me? Like, I get if you don't... but I'd really like it if you did.