Drawn To You

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The past couple days having to purposely ignore my boyfriend have been rough. I've texted him here and there, but barely. I've come up with excuses like I'm helping my mum out at the church, or that I'm with my dad down at the racing track, but I can only use so many excuses to not see him for days on end. Haz told me last night that it seems as though he's coming down from his mania. I honestly just can't wait to see him, and know he's okay. I get a text from Lily, and open it.
Lily: mum and dad are fighting about you..
I look at the text with confusion, why are they fighting about me?
Eliana: what are they saying?
I wait a few minuets, and my phone dings.
Lily: mum thinks you're going downhill and wants to kick you out of the guest house. Dad is telling her no and that you're doing just fine.
I can't believe what she's saying. Would my mum seriously kick me out? I've done nothing wrong. I am the perfect child. I go to University, I get good grades, I stay out of trouble. What more could she want from me?
If she doesn't want me here, then I don't wanna be here.
My phone dings again, but this time it's a text from Tom.
Tom: princess I know you're upset about the other day, but I miss you.. please come see me. Please.
In this moment, I need Tom as much as he needs me. Screw it, I'm gonna go see my boy.
I grab my jacket and my keys, heading towards Tom's house. I miss him so much.
I walk through the front door, setting my things down. This is probably a terrible idea, and Haz is going to scold me for it later.
"Tommy?" I call.
"Back here my love!" He calls back.
I skip down the hallway to his room, and as I walk inside I see clothes laying everywhere, everything from his closet and drawers torn out and thrown on the floor.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"Just reorganizing." He shrugs as he walks over to me.
He pulls me in tight and kisses my lips. He tastes like alcohol.. it's ten am.
"Why are you reorganizing?" I question.
"Just felt like it."
Yeah he's still in his mania. He looks like he's barely slept, bloodshot eyes, shaky hands. I'm worried..
"Tom when was the last time you slept?"
He looks at me with irritation, and groans.
"Dont start with me, I already have to deal with Haz."
"You just look so exhausted. Want to take a nap? We can cuddle." I say, trying to make the offer sound good.
"Why is everyone so worried? I'm fine!" He exclaims. "This is the most productive I've been in weeks! I'm getting all my work done and cleaning and working out! I'm fine!"
He doesn't sound like himself..
"I just think that some sleep would do you good." I state.
"Well if you're going to be like that, then you can piss off. I'm busy." He mutters.
I stare at him with hurt, not feeling like the guy standing in front of me is my boyfriend. I turn around and start to walk out, tears falling from my eyes. I don't know why I'm crying.. he just didn't seem like himself. He wasn't Tom. Is this what I've gotten myself into? I've fallen in love with a boy that is going to be up and down constantly. He will never settle. Like Haz said, it's going to take a while for me to learn how to deal with Tom and his Bipolar, and part of me wishes I didn't have to. Part of me wants to just say no more and walk away, take the easy way out.
But I love him. All of him. Which means accepting this part of him too. It'll just take time.
I hear my car door open, and lift my head from the steering wheel to see Tom standing there. He quickly pulls me out of the car, and grabs my face, seeing the tears running down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry princess." He mutters, and pulls me into him.
My face buries into his chest, and he holds me closely with a tight grip.
"M' so sorry.. I'll do better. I promise."
I pull away from his chest to look into his brown eyes that I love so much. He uses his thumb to wipe my tears away, and cradles my face.
"I'll do better too." I say. "I said no running, and I meant it. I'm in this with you Tom, we will figure it out."
"I love you." He says, resting his forehead against mine.
"I love you too. So much."
______
If this is what Haz considers 'calmed down' then I don't even want to know how bad it was a couple days ago. Toms been practicing his guitar for over an hour. I'm not complaining, I could listen to him play forever, but it's just not like him.
I look at the clock, seeing it's eleven pm. I should try to get him to sleep again but I'm gonna go for a different approach this time. Haz is hanging out in his room, so it's just us. Tom is extra soft when it's just us, so I think I can do this.
"Tommy." I say.
"Yes my love?" He sets the guitar down.
"I'm sleepy and want snuggles." I pout, hoping he will just go for it. Tom always falls asleep when I snuggle with him and play with his hair.
"Then let's go lay in bed and snuggle." He smiles.
Well that was easy.
We walk back to his room, and he grabs some sweats and a T-shirt for me to change into. I fall back on the bed and he climbs over me, kissing me repeatedly before falling to my side and pulling me into him for cuddles. I run my fingers through his hair, and kiss his nose with love.
"Missed having you in my bed." He mumbles.
"Me too." I say.
I pretend like I'm about to fall asleep, but stay awake so I can know if he falls asleep. I know he needs it. Desperately.
A bit of time passes, and i hear the relieving sounds of him snoring slightly. I smile to myself, happy that I finally got him to rest. Maybe I can do this after all. Toms not difficult, or a pain, he's just different. He needs extra help, and consideration, and love. Good thing for him, I've got more than enough love. How could I not? He's my soulmate, I am sure of it.