Intent on His claim (Beauty and the Beast #3)

Chapter 7

I stood there for a moment then went into the house. I took the mugs into the kitchen and emptied them then set about making lunch. They needed food, I reasoned - especially with their impressive appetites - so I’d bully them into eating if I had to.

An hour passed while I was busy in the Strandton kitchen. I was almost done when something came into my line of vision outside the window. Looking up, I saw Roger sitting in the lowest branch of the tree directly outside. Daring to hope, I set the cloth aside and ventured outside.

He was staring at his twined fingers and didn’t move as I approached even though I knew he was aware of my every move. When I was close enough to hear him he said softly, "You’re right." At his pause I remained silent, covering the distance between us. "I do need to vent a bit. It’s just, I don’t deserve to."

That was odd. "What do you mean?"

"They’re not my parents. Don’t get me wrong, I love them to bits but that won’t change anything. I don’t have the same right to grieve as Warren and Ashley."

"Of course you do. They’re your family."

"Belle, I killed my own parents. That’s a crime I can never overlook. Any pain I feel is just part of my penance. I can’t let it out; I won't let it out. It has to hurt. I need it to hurt bad."

"That’s what you meant," I realized, "when you said karma’s catching up to you." Then I got angry. "Just how stupid can you get? Is this why you don't deal directly with things that hurt you?"

He looked up at the change in my tone, his brows shooting up at my glare. "What?"

"When you felt like Ashley was pushing you away four months ago, is this why you didn't do anything about it? Because you needed it to 'hurt bad'?!"

He laughed softly and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess you're right."

"Damn it, Roger! You're smarter than this!"

"When you’ve got that much red on your ledger, you gotta expect karma to hunt you down," he emphasized calmly.

I wanted to beat him with a stick. “It can’t be red. You weren’t yourself that night."

He shrugged. "They still died at my hands."

"Because you weren’t in control!" He looked up again at my yell. "So what if the stupid ledger is red? It still isn't your fault and you constantly punishing yourself is just plain disrespectful!"

His brows shot up again. "What?"

"Your parents have been gone for years yet you're still hurting their son. You think they're proud of you for this torture you put yourself through? You think it's is what they'd want for you?"

He just gazed at me silently, his whole body still.

"This guilt you'll carry forever is punishment enough in my book. So man up and be the son Veronica and Kyle need you to be! Leave karma out of this!"

His movement was smooth, perfect. He jumped down from the branch and silently crushed me to him. I was surprised, but after a moment I hugged him back.

He held me like that for quite a bit, then he whispered gruffly, “Thank you."

I was so touched that I stopped trying to struggle out of his hold. My shoulder started feeling damp and my eyes widened. "Roger?"

He hissed out a sob and his tears fell faster as he trembled. He kept mumbling his thanks over and over, completely breaking my heart. I wrapped my arms around him and held on as he wept. He muffled his cries and kept rigidly holding me.