Ateez Ships BoyxBoy Oneshots

Jongsang (slight angst, fluff) ~Just Hold Me~

No words were said between the two; they didn't even know what to say to each other at that moment. Not even a second later, Yeosang suddenly bent down, hesitantly, until his head hit the chest of his boyfriend. He snuggled his head into Jongho's chest, slightly clinging onto the other's shirt with his hands. He didn't expect it to feel as nice as it did, but he wouldn't trade the feeling for anything. Feeling the comforting warm body of his boyfriend was something Yeosang didn't know he needed.

The unforeseen gesture made Jongho somewhat confused. Yeosang had been putting on a distant front for a little while now, so this was not something he was expecting at all. He ultimately returned the display of affection, though. He put his phone down next to him and wrapped his arms around the smaller, setting his hands on his back.

"What's the matter baby, hm?" the younger asked as he rubbed one of his hands up and down the other's back.

Even though Yeosang had some clue as to what was wrong with him, he didn't really want to talk about it at the moment. He was enjoying the feeling he was getting from his boyfriend, and he wanted to make it last for as long as possible.

"Can you just..hold me please?" he said, desperately and quietly.

Jongho froze for a brief moment. He was getting concerned, but knowing how his boyfriend was, him showing that he was even the slightest bit freaked out, would cause the other to close off even more. He couldn't help but to want to know, but he had to.

"Of course I can." Jongho squeezed at the male on top of him even tighter than before, afraid of letting him go.

"I love you so much Sang" the taller said, lovingly.

For some reason, those words caused a small tear to slip from Yeosang's eye, landing onto the other male's shirt. He realized that Jongho was still being affectionate towards him, even though he had been acting the way he was. He realized that he shouldn't be keeping his burdens to himself, he should be sharing them with the man that he loves.

"Jongho?"

The latter moved his head a little to look down at the man on top of him.

"Yes baby?"

"Can I tell you tomorrow?" Yeosang still couldn't bring himself to look at the other, but Jongho didn't seem to be offended by it at all.

"You tell me whenever you're ready to tell me Sang."

Yeosang was hesitant at first, but it was
now or never for him.

"Well...I'll tell you now, because if I don't, I don't think I'll have the courage to say anything later." The older paused for a few seconds. "But when I tell you, can you still hold me?"

Jongho leaned his head down a little to kiss Yeosang on the top of his.

"I'll hold you for as long as you want me to."

With those words playing through his head, Yeosang decided that it was time to talk.

"I'll keep it a bit short since if I talk about it for too long, I'll cry." He let out a light sigh. "I know I've been a bit distant recently and first off, I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you. I've just been going through some things in my own mind. I haven't been feeling confident in myself and my self esteem is shrinking by the day. I have no clue why, and I really wish I did. But...I don't know anymore. I'm kind of over myself at this point, and I really don't know what to do Jongho." Throughout his whole explanation, he found himself fiddling with the younger's shirt, trying to calm down his nerves.

Jongho had listened to the other, processing everything, but also what little, that he had to say. Everything had finally made sense. The lack of conversation, the showing of disinterest, the sheer lack of affection, and just the dullness of personality. It all made sense now. Jongho was glad that he got some clarity on the situation, but nothing could mask the feeling of his guilt. How couldn't I have talked to him? I should've at least tried. He had all this going on and I chose to not ask anything. Jongho kept mentally ridiculing himself, but as much as he felt like he deserved it, now was not the time. He had his boyfriend to console, and he was going to do it by all means.

Jongho continued to hold the other male tight, not allowing his grip on him to loosen. He used one of his hands to rub Yeosang's arm up and down, making the touch as comforting as he possibly could. He leaned down, once again, to place a long and gentle kiss on the top of the latter's head.

"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling like that baby?"

"I was scared that you wouldn't take me seriously, that you would say that I was being too dramatic" Yeosang answered honestly, still not taking his head off of the chest he was laying on to look the taller in the eyes.

Jongho sighed. "Yeosang, of course I would've taken you serious. There is nothing dramatic about what you just told me. You expressed to me that you didn't feel good about yourself, and I will always take that seriously."

"I'm sorry Jongie" Yeosang said in a shrunken voice.

Jongho just shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry about baby. Just..just tell me next time; I want to make you feel better. You don't need to be going through this by yourself. You are beautiful from the inside out and I love you more than what I can describe. Every time you feel bad about yourself, I'll be there to tell you how beautiful you look, how wonderful you are, the precious impact you have on my life. I love you so much Yeosang."

All Yeosang could do was smile. Maybe he wasn't feeling great about himself, but at least he has someone who loves him, and maybe that's all he really needs in order to progress through this tough time in his life.

The older hugged the other more firmly than he originally was, his heart fluttering with warmth.

"I love you too Jongho. I appreciate you being here for me."

"I will always be here for you Sang."