Rule #3: Changing The Rules

[19]

He sighed and looked away.

"I did," he answered.

My heart sank a bit.

"But I realized it was all a distraction to what I truly feel. You're still the one I want, despite everything. Ayokong nakikita kang kasama ng ibang lalaki. Ayoko pag hinahawakan ka at kinakausap ka. And damn it! It frustrates me even more, that I'm not your first kiss! Ako sana 'yon, pero—" He stopped himself again. "Putangina."

"Pero?" Lumapit ako sa kaniya at hinihintay ang kaduktong non.

My first kiss was Beau. I don't understand how else he could've been my first kiss, because we weren't close at all. Kami na ni Beau noon at siya rin ang kauna-unahang crush ko.

He breathed deeply again.

"I just need your answer, Elisse." he shifted the topic. "You don't need to say it now, I can try again."

I frowned. "Why does it feel like you're pressuring me?"

Umiling siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"I'm not. I'll respect your answer. Alam kong natagalan dahil duwag ako, pero totoo ang sinasabi ko. Matagal ko ng plano na ligawan ka, but you won't even look at me, like how you looked at the others. Tiniis kong hindi basagin ang mukha ng bawat lalaking lumalapit sayo dahil alam kong hindi mo magugustuhan 'yon. I don't wanna turn you off..."

Hindi ako makagalaw. It's like my mind is still processing everything inside my head. He confessed to me! He did! Pero bakit ngayong ginawa niya 'to, hindi ko na masyado ramdam?

I was hurt when he's with other girls. I was hurt when I knew he wouldn't like me, ever. Pero ngayong umamin siya sa akin na ganito, bakit wala akong maramdaman? I felt like a rock. Alam kong masaya ako, pero bakit parang kinukumbinse ko lang ang sarili ko na iyon ang maramdaman?

Everything's still a shock to me.

"Can I sleep, now?" I asked with a small voice.

He stared at my eyes for a few seconds before he nodded. I rushed to the room and closed the door immediately. Napasandal ako roon at hindi makapagisip.

Damn it! Bakit kase ngayon pa nangyari 'to?

I couldn't fall asleep and I didn't know what else I should do. Hindi na nga ako nakakain dahil ayokong lumabas at makita siya dito.

Halos umaga na ako natulog at tanghali na nung nagising. I decided to be a brave woman and went out of the room to talk to him. Hindi naman habang-buhay akong magtatago. Lalo pa ngayon na kailangan niya ang tulong ko.

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto at tiningnan kung nasaan siya. I went out and tried to find him around the area. Halos mapasigaw naman ako nung makita siyang nakahiga sa may sala.

His legs are too long that the other one is dangling from it. Hindi na siya magkasya dito at iniingatan ang braso niyang nabali. I almost forgot that part and rushed to help him out.

"Prince!" I said and woke him up. Tinayo ko siya at nagising naman ito agad. I sat beside him and held his face.

"Why did you sleep, here?" I asked.

"I couldn't open the door," he groggily said and yawned.

"You what?" Nagtaka ako at napunta ang tingin sa kuwarto niya.

"It needs my fingerprint. I only had my right thumb registered, but I can't move it, so..."

Napasapo ako sa noo. Why would he put that kind of system in his room? Hindi naman ganito ang mga condo sa Brierwell. Siya lang ang merong ganon. Palibhasa, sina Trent ang may-ari. Ano naman ang tinatago niya sa kwarto niya?