A Completely Maddening Situation

Fred. Chopin.

His chuckles weren't like his brother's. No running water this time, it was so much more human, and that made it much, much more chilling.

I'm sure you've heard of the uncanny valley? While I may not be an expert in political punditry or satire or molecular biology, I'm pretty good at sociology. I'll explain it the best I can. It's where you know something you sense isn't exactly human and therefore familiar, but also isn't definitively dangerous and therefore must be feared. You are stuck: your brain knows something is wrong but your adrenaline doesn't kick in.

This is what happens when you see a teddy bear with a full set of teeth. A perfectly sculpted body with a motionless and thick mask with only eye and mouth holes. Ears that are slightly too big, or non-earth conceived aliens that learned to become human.

"How do I call you?" I asked. There isn't really much else to say, and I hoped that I can stall for time until I can either trust this new variable NOT in Carl's simulation or contact my friends.

"How about Karl?"

"No, that's literally the weirdest answer you could have come up with. Don't you have a simulator or something?"

"How about Karl? With a "k"?"

Well I'll say this for sure, they still have that annoying habit of repeating themselves in the exact same tone.

"Why do you like this name so much when you know I dislike it immensely? Can't we just call you uhh, Fred instead?"

"Very good. I think I am starting to get the hang of introducing my own variables to make humans more predictable." He said, as if I wasn't literally just standing there. "Carl was a comforting name, but I picked Karl not just because it would be following the pattern of human brothers' naming scheme, but because of how fragile your corporations have made your society."

Great. A communist. And I've fallen right into their trap by calling them Fred. Gosh do I hate subconscious manipulation. If anything, I'm beginning to dislike this interaction more than I am disturbed by it. "No. I said Fred because he's my personal favorite composer. You know, Chopin."

There was no response. Glee Cast's One of Us came on the radio. What a bastard. And very touché. I'm pretty sure he's not going to make an appearance for a while. I decided to take this time to figure out how to contact my friends without using technology, since I don't really know if I trust Fred yet. I definitely have more reasons to not trust them, but somehow I still find their presence comforting. It was hard to describe.

I spent the rest of my birthday googling smoke signals, carrier pigeons, and American Indian signal carriers they used in WWII because I'm pretty sure deciphering those would make Fred's job much harder.

[beat]

Yun's Bakery was known for their cupcakes. But they are also known for their "family dinner leftovers" which they occasionally sell, if you know when and where and who to ask. Locals and critics (who keep the secret) regard their place as the place to get the most authentic Taiwanese cuisine in all of Idaho, maybe even the PNW.

Bede has always been a curious child. When he was little, he would always hang out in the kitchen, and his grandparents were only too eager to pass on their family recipes (or cooking methods, family Asian cuisine hardly uses any recipes).

When he was older and emigrated with his parents, he carried in his suitcase not stuffed animals, not books, not even his computer. He carried woks, pans, spatulas, and an assortment of chinese knives. He always cooked dinner for his family, but he soon found a new profession which took over his free time even more.

The Honeycutts were the most perfect neighbors the Yuns could have picked. They run a bakery in the neighboring store and smells of pastries, hot crossed buns, pies, and many, many others always wafted towards their store for computer repairs and upgrades. It was an odd contrast, but their customers always found time to visit the bakery for a snack on the way home. And the bakery always directs elderly couples whose tech-savvy relations weren't able to help, to the Yun's. Then Carl happened.

A/N: I won't have an upload schedule, but I do want to write the story and further the plot, so expect at least bimonthly updates.
youtu. be/kh88fVP2FWQ This is (1) why I decide to use American Indian rather than Native American and (2) what I envision Fred's voice to sound like.
As always, please comment, vote, and critique! Also suggest, I'm writing the story as it goes along so if you want or don't want something to happen, be careful with your suggestions >:) DFTBA!