strawberry daiquiri

eleven

ryan woke up feeling odd.

he felt strangely off, like one of his legs was slightly shorter than the other or half of his brain was still buffering. something in-between those two things. he felt as if he had a dream, but he had already forgotten it.

he immediately grabbed his phone, checking if there were any notifications from shane. just one text: "when you wake up and feel comfortable enough to let me come over, let me know!"

ryan smiled. he took a quick shower and changed his clothes before texting shane back. as he waited on the man to arrive, he tidied up his apartment, still feeling a little strange.

shane knocked a couple of times. "you don't have to knock, shane," ryan said, opening the door.

"oh, is that where we are in our relationship? no knock, no warning, just here, whenever i want?"

ryan smiled. "yeah. whenever you want, i guess. me too?"

"you too," shane affirmed. he walked to sit down on ryan's couch. "actually, i did kinda want to talk to you about all that?"

ryan felt something in the pit of his stomach. he sat on the couch beside shane, silently allowing him to continue.

"don't worry, ry, it's nothing bad-- and no, i didn't read your mind that time, i saw it on your face. anyway, i just think we should... start over. from the beginning."

"start over?" ryan inquired.

"yeah, like... us. not start from being coworkers or anything-, but just... try the whole relationship thing again. now that we know each other a lot better. and i wanted... to give you a chance to not do that. to... stay friends, or maybe less. i don't want you to feel obligated to be with me since i chose you. i know sometimes it doesn't work like that..." shane trailed off. ryan saw a rare sense of worry flash across his eyes.

while ryan was thinking of how to compose his response, shane spoke again. "and i mean, i've put you through a lot, so just objectively consider that before making any rash choices, you know? i promise i will make you happy but... you don't have to let me keep that promise. i can disappear anytime you want. ugh, that sounds so manipulative. i just--"

"shane, oh my god, shane, stop talking," ryan said. shane looked into his eyes, as if he was trying his hardest to read them.

"okay, first of all, stop doing whatever demon thing you're doing right now," ryan said. shane laughed tensely and looked away. ryan took a deep breath and continued.

"i like that idea. starting over. that way, everything is more clear. or, as clear as it can be. and i'm not going to run away from you, shane-- i can't... and i don't want to, either. so..."

shane had visibly relaxed as he heard ryan say these words. "so... wanna... like... be my boyfriend?"

"yes. without a doubt. and you're mine. there. that's the first step."

shane hugged ryan, spending an extra long time wrapping his arms extra tight around him.

"you're everything to me," shane murmured under his breath.

"you're everything to me too," ryan said loudly. "you don't have to be quiet about it!"

shane laughed now, seeming to finally reclaim his state of happiness.

"so, ry guy, any big plans today?"

"whatever you're doing, i'm doing," ryan said, heading to the kitchen. "want a drink?"

"a drink drink, or just a drink?"

"a drink drink." ryan replied.

"a drink drink drink?"

"a drink drink drink drink, actually. if you can handle it."

shane laughed. "okay, you win. what are you drinking?"

"i don't know. a daiquiri?"

"a daiquiri?" shane asked.

"yeah. strawberry." ryan answered. "we'll probably have to go out for that."

shane turned pale. almost ghostly white.

"can we go a little later?" he said hurriedly. "i'm so tired."

ryan seemed indifferent. "oh, sure. do you want to watch something?"

"whatever you want. come cuddle."

ryan smiled and sat beside shane, trying to find a spot that was most comfortable. the two men eventually laid out on the couch, ryan laying in between shane's legs with his head on the man's chest.

"your heart is beating really fast," ryan remarked.

shane swallowed. "it's 'cuz i have a crush on you." he prayed ryan believed him.

ryan laughed. "i guess i have a crush on you too."

"you guess?" shane asked, pretending to be offended.

"yeah, i mean, i'm weighing my options right now, you know, can't tie myself down to just one person--"

shane tightened his legs around ryan's body. "you take that back or i'm gonna squeeze you to death, like an anaconda."

"okay, okay, fine, i was joking." the two men laughed, and shane felt more at ease.

the movie ryan put on sucked, but neither shane nor ryan wanted to take the time to find a new one. to shane's relief, ryan eventually fell asleep again.

strawberry daiquiri.
don't drink it.
it'll kill you.

ryan twitched in his sleep a few times. his sleeping face looked distressed. shane rubbed his back, trying to pull him out of the dream without waking him
up.

"i'll protect you," he whispered. "forever."