Same Room

Chapter 1

! Song: Agape - Nicholas Britell !

Day 1.

Dying doesn't scare me, it never did. I don't think people should be scared at all. In fact, I would love to die alone, it sounds almost peaceful. I know that sounds depressing as shit but it's true. Well at least for me, but admit it everyone dies alone. As much as you want to believe that you will die next to your soulmate. You both taking your last breath together. I'm okay with dying alone. At least I tell myself that.

Day 2.

The thing is, I don't really have any friends to hang out with and when I do hang out with people I hate it. Growing up I wasn't much of a people person. My mom would say I was super shy, which is true, but I also just liked being alone. They wanted me to go to a therapist, but instead, I'm writing everything I feel. Although sometimes I catch myself lying on here like if I'm talking to someone real. Honestly why go to a therapist if the only person that can help you is you.

Day 3.

For a long time, I lied about everything. Especially how I felt even about the small things. I wanted to make sure people thought I was okay. I know here I don't have to lie, but it just makes everything easier. 

Day 4.

I made new friends today, Ryan, who is the funniest person I know and the weirdest sense of style. Also, his girlfriend April who is an amazing artist and I can't believe is dating Ryan. Jay was the one that called me over at lunch. She's cool, but definitely has issues, then again, who am I to judge. I didn't even know Jay knew my name until she said "Hey Charlie!" and told me to sit with them. They're the type of people that don't care about anything. So the opposite of me.

Day 5. 

I never thought I would actually be hanging out with friends on Friday night. Ryan picked us up and we drove around. We didn't really go anywhere but it was still fun. I actually laughed and made jokes. I sound like a loser, of course, I had friends or a friend. Daniel was my best friend. He's gone. He left me. So now I hang out with new friends on Friday nights.

Day 6.

Today is one of those days I don't really want to talk to anyone. Jay texted me today and I ignored her. I felt bad because she was just checking up on me. She doesn't even know me like that. Why does she care?  Why don't I let anyone help me? 

Day 7.

Sometimes I wish I had siblings so I can at least talk to someone that understands my family. By family I mean my mom. I love my mom and I hope she knows that. Perhaps I never love enough.  I don't think I can talk to anyone, I just write. It's weird, sometimes I hope someone actually reads this one day. Sometimes I feel like someone already is.  

This my first story so please be nice :) PS I got this idea from a TikTok @/depressedwbooks

Let me know if y'all want more!!