The True Meaning of Love

How Do I Deal?

1 Month Later, Nobodys POV

A month has passed since Erica revealed her screw up to Cyn. One month since Erica watched the one she loved walk away in tears. One month of unanswered phone calls, texts, letters and emails. One month of friends dealing with their broken hearted friends. One month of misery...

Erica

It's been a month since I came home to an empty house. King had already left with my mom two days prior to Cyn & I fight. When I got home all traces of Cynthia was gone and everything I've given her she left behind... even our little Isabella. I've sent so many letters and texts. I've called so many times and she's yet to utter one word to me. I'm a complete mess without her and the world is starting to notice. I try and throw myself in work but clubs been Fallin off me because I'm not the same. Photoshoots don't work either because I don't feel sexy I feel like shit and all I want is my baby. I haven't stepped foot in the studio because it hurts too much. I just don't know what to do.

Albee: Alright Mena for fucks sake you've gotta get back in touch with life!

E: Go away Albee

Albee: Shit... listen sis I know you're hurting but you gotta move on. You fucked up and she left you. You'll bounce back

E: That's just it, I don't want to bounce back. I want CYNTHIA!!

Albee: Well DO something about it! What are you willing to do to get her back?

E: Anything! Albee I'll give anything I just need her back *tears falling* I need her Albee.

China

So Im just playing the back letting albee do his thing. Oh yes praise God! THIS is all I've been waiting for. What we've all been waiting for. Those tears, that face, those words, these feelings Yes the time has come. Yall prolli like how I'm happy an thankful for my bestie feeling like shit. Simple, she's finally found love. Real love. A love she's never experienced and she's terrified but wants it more than anything. Thank you Cynthia. Now it's my turn to help. I called Cyn up and asked her out to lunch. I left out E crib to meet her. Albee can handle her.

*Meeting Cyn*

Cyn: Hey China baby you looking good!

China: Hey boo, you know I had to do it for you lol

Cyn: Lol you're a trip.  But what's going on? How's my baby? I mean Erica. I mean... UGH IDK WTF I MEAN!

China: Whoa honey slow it down & breathe... Your baby is a heaping mess chile but I think you knew that

Cyn: She hurt me. She hurt me so bad china. What did I do? All I've done was try. All I did was love her. Sadly I still fucking love her!

China: Then talk to her. Please please cyn!

Cyn: *Wiping Tears* No. I have to be strong for me. I won't let her step on me

China: Listen to me. That stupid best friend of mine has never had anything like you. We her friends know it and she's realizing it too. She loves you Cyn. She's a shattered mess only this time she deserves it.

Cyn: Wait what?

China: E been through a lot. She's never had somebody love her right. I know you can and you do. That's why she so sprung. I'm not asking you to go easy, I'm asking you no begging you not to give up. Please Cynthia.

Cyn

To be completely honest I'm baffled. Words are escaping me as I sit and play back China's words at lunch backwards and forwards in my mind. Loving Erica was never hard and I know I love her still. I know she loves me but I don't know how I can trust her after this. Then that conversation brought on some serious pressure I wasn't prepared for. I want to talk to my girls but they told me wussup already. Mary & Stella been saying I need to get on the Web and see what I've done to Mena lol but I haven't looked. They also told me to open the letters and shit she's sent. I've always refrained but after that talk with China I think it's time. Most of them were just Please baby I love you I'm sorry. But one red envelope caught my eye. It was a little ruined from tears as I open it.

Dear Cynthia,

I think this will be my last letter... to be honest I have no idea what to say. I've never been here before. I've never felt so empty in my entire life. I've forgotten how to breathe. I've forgotten how to eat. I'm terrified to sleep because my dreams of your heartbroken face haunt me. I'm crushed because I know I don't deserve you but for some reason I can't bring myself to let you go. I can't shake you Cynthia. You've crawled into my skin and made yourself at home in my heart. Without you I don't want to smile. I don't want to party or celebrate. I don't want to take another breath without you. You've ruined me. You're love shattered Erica Mena and just left vulnerable Jazzy, the girl who's never been loved before. You told me this was all new to you well its new for me too. I've never felt like this before but I know I don't want to ever lose it now that I have. I'm not perfect but you love me anyway. You're so amazing and foreign to me. I want to learn baby, teach me. You're the only one I want and need baby please. I Love You Cynthia.  Please don't let me go I'm still learning too...

Signed,

Your Lovesick Confused Shattered Puppy

OMG my baby... even when I want to hate her I can't. She just melted so much ice with this. I refuse to make this easy but I think I'm ready to talk or listen.

*Phone Ringing*

Person: Please leave me alone. I don't want a gig a photo shoot or a song! Fuck don't yall get it! I want...gco

Cyn: What exactly is it that you want Erica?

E: *Breath caught in throat* Baby....