I want to live. I want to love. I think I am ready.

the highway don't care if you're coming home

Saving lives.

***

Sam had spent most of his life on the road. Usually just him and Dean. They've been through so much together, the two of them. On the road, always on the road. Highway after highway. Coming from nowhere, not going anywhere.

Along the way, they had made their own family. With Cas. With Bobby. With Jack. With Eileen. They had made the bunker their home, something they hadn't had since that fateful night, where they had lost everything. Until then, the road had been their home, their family.

Having been on the road for almost a week now, with Eileen, Sam couldn't help but think back at how this used to be their life. The road had never been safe. Never welcoming. But always home. He still enjoyed the road, on occasion. But it was no longer home. No longer a highway without a destination. Their family, the family they had made along the way, that was their home now.

Dean was his home.

Eileen was his home.

Jack was his home.

Cas was his home.

Cas... he would be back. Sam knows it. Sam knows that Dean will never stop looking for a way to bring him home. He would be looking until his last breath if needed.

«Hey, what are you thinking about?» Eileen interrupts his thoughts, Sam turning to smile at her.

«I... I was just thinking about our life. About our home.» Sill watching the road ahead of him, he turns his head slightly, so that Eileen can watch him.

«The road.» He smiles. «That was our home. Our friend. Our family. The road was everything. Going south for a ghost case. North to kill a demon. East for a nest of vampires. West for a werewolf gone wild. It was all we had, Dean and I. It's the only thing that most hunters have.»

«But the road doesn't care about you, or where you go. You can go in every direction, turn into every road or side road. Whatever highway your headlights turn to. But the road doesn't care.

The road won't care if you live, or if you die. It might lead you on your way all alone, but the highway don't care if you're all alone. The road will be your whole life, but the road won't hold you when you need, dry your tears, or wait for you to come home.

That all up to us. To take care of each other. To be there when needed. To be a home for each other. We live on the road, but the road don't care. So we have to.»

Eileen smiles sadly at him, understanding perfectly what he means.

«But we broke free. The road let us go. And now the road is just a chapter, not the whole book. We chose the road when we like, and chose home when we need it.» He goes quiet for a while. «These past few days with you, on the road, they've been a comfort. Knowing that we can go home, knowing we are going somewhere. Knowing we have each other.»

«I always found the road to be a comfort in itself, but then... then I met you, and Dean. And you showed me what a real home is. I haven't had a family since I was 14, and you showed me, reminded me what family is. I love you, Sam.»

«I love you, Eileen» he whispers, nearly moving his lips, but she sees as reaches over to hold his hand. Smiling as he watches the world go by outside the window, Sam realizes he's finally happy. Finally living. They'd made a home, together. They defeated Chuck, free to write their own story. He's happy.

Sam is still smiling when he and Eileen get home. Parking the car, Sam can see that the impala hasn't been moved, at all. Dean would often use the garage as a calming place. Fixing up his car, or another. He would retreat to the garage if he became too restless, not able to do anything, especially the times he'd lost someone. Lost Cas. But no one has been in the garage since they left.

The bunker library is dark, only a small table lamp lights up the table closest to the hallway, which is also dark. Heading down the stairs Eileen turns on the lights, showcasing the mess of the library. Sam just stares.

If the situation had been different, Sam would have yelled at his brother for making such a mess of the library. Books are everywhere. On the floor. On the tables. On the chairs. Some opened. Some closed. Some has fallen out from the shelf. Some thrown across the room.

«Oh, Dean...» Eileen looks up at Sam, who is still standing at the bottom of the stairs. Not able to say anything. She reaches out and touches his hand, unfreezing him.

«Dean!» Sam's voice is hoarse, as he moves. «DEAN!»

Sam runs across the library, Eileen following closely. Sam calls for his brother, but there are no answers. The kitchen is dark and empty as he bursts through the door. He only takes a second to look around, before he's running again. The huge room they've been talking about turning into a living room hasn't been touched since they left. Sam's heart is beating faster for each step he takes.

«DEAN!» For only a second he stops in front of Dean's bedroom, his hand on the doorknob.

Empty.

«Sam.» He turns to face her, her eyes just as scared and worried as his. «Cas, where he lost Cas.»

«The dungeon.» She only nods as they both turn to sprint down the hallway, not getting there fast enough.

He can hear a low whisper as he reaches the door.

Dean. What's he doing?

Slamming open the door, Sam is both relieved by the sight that meets him and scared as hell.

Dean is standing in the middle of the room, one hand closed around one of his jackets. A green one with some kind of dried blood stain, fresh blood beside it. Dean's other hand hangs loosely by his side, blood dripping to the floor.

But. It's what's in front of him that scares Sam the most. Eileen too.

Dean doesn't even turn to look at them, only moving closer to the black hole in the wall. He stops in front of it, lingering at the edge of the emptiness ahead.

«Dean.» His name is only a faint whisper on his lips.

He did it. He found a way. He is going to him.

But at what cost?

«I'll be back when he's with me.» If it hadn't been for the dead quiet of the room, Sam would never have caught Dean's words. He almost doesn't hear them, even in the quiet.

Dean steps forward.

Onto an unknown road.

Into the darkness.

Doesn't turn to look back.

And then he is taken by emptiness.

/// AN ///

I like to imagine that something like this is what really happened after they defeated Chuck and got everyone back. Sam wanted to keep hunting, and he wanted to create some kind of community, or network, like this, for hunters. Eileen would of course be by his side, kicking ass and training future generations of hunters. They would be amazing together, establishing something like this.
(we all know that this is what really happened after 15x19 right? 15x20 didn't happen).

Also, the new hunters introduced in this chapter are original characters, that I made up at 3 am last night. They won't be very important to the story, but I wanted to add some more hunters because this is how I feel the show should have ended.

Sam and Eileen establishing the hunter community. New and/or lonely hunters using the bunker as a home base, just like the Winchesters. This is what Sam was destined to do if you actually care about the 15 years of character development. And Dean sure as hell didn't die on a hunt because he retires to live the life he deserves, just like Sam lives how he should.

*

I don't know if anyone is even reading this? But, if you have been noticing and wondering about the chapter titles; yes, a lot of them are lyrics from (mostly) taylor swift songs (especially the Destiel album "evermore")...

I just really love using lyrics from songs I love, as inspiration when writing, especially emotional parts.