Regret

I

(Hawks POV)

I wake up to a violent shudder. Cold sweat popping up on my forehead, a sickening feeling of dread deep in my stomach.

Why did I do that?

I felt like I was going to puke. I push the feeling aside and decide to go back to sleep. I've already been dispatched from the hospital so I wasn't being bothered by multiple flustered nurses. I had off work anyway. As I await my slumber, it flashes before my eyes once again. 

My hand quivering as I run up behind my target. I feel the long crimson feather slicing deep into Jin's soft flesh, almost cutting him in half. I feel the scorching pain overwhelm my senses. I catch a glimpse of him. He's furious. Why wouldn't he be? I killed someone he considered family, something that he left behind a long time ago but regained.

 I wish I could remember feeling that feeling again...

(Dabi POV)

Ever since the incident, my breathing has been uneven, scattered, and harsh. The indents in my walls look back at me as my vision goes blurry. My eyes get exceedingly glossy.  A tear slivers down my cheek reminding me of the death of my closest comrade (I know Dabi can't cry but let's just use our imaginations).  Anger boils inside of me. It fades away being replaced by the same numb feeling I've felt since a child. No use in crying.

I walk out of my room and start down the long hallway. I walk past each door with our names carved into them. After passing a few unnamed ones, I start to see our names. Spinner, Mr. Compress, Kurogiri, Shigaraki, Toga. Lastly, I spot Twice's, which now has a freshly carved X crossing out his name. I look at it somberly, putting my hand on Toga's doorknob. I use my free hand to knock quietly. I hear a soft "come in". I get swallowed by the overwhelming feeling of melancholy, setting me into a somber trance for a moment. I break out of it and walk-in. She's sitting on her bed, her legs under her with her feet peeking out, clenching onto a dirty cloth Twice gave her before he melted away. I can see even darker circles around her honey gold eyes. She's obviously been crying. I don't blame her. Toga and Twice were inseparable, they loved one another with each of their entire being. I can't begin to express my guilt for letting her sit there in pain. I proceed into her room, sitting on the corner of her bed. 

"How ya' feeling?" I ask hesitantly, a stupid question, really. 

I see her eyes well with tears as she leans her head onto my shoulder.

"I know...it'll get better." She tries to hum in response but is interrupted by her voice cracking. I turn sideways and squeeze her a little tighter.

"It'll get better"

Do I really mean that? Toga loved Twice, they were such close friends. 

Maybe the feeling won't go away. Actually, I know it won't go away. She'll always miss him, we all will. As time passes the guilt and sorrow will melt away and be replaced by acceptation and for the fact he's gone and he isn't coming back. All we can do is hope he's in the afterlife having fun and cracking jokes just as Twice would. I'm sure he's watching us from wherever he is cheering us on. I'm just glad he had a good life, or what he thinks was a good life. Because that's what Jin Bubaigawara deserved.

And no one can tell me he didn't

(End Chapter I)

Thank you for reading this far. I made this in spite of reading chapter 266. Twice has always been a favorite character of mine and I was so defeated when he died.

I hope you enjoyed it!

-Tsubakii with an Extra i