Forgotten Ghost | Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 63: The Start Of Something Old

Katya nodded. They were all of the visions Wanda had given her. The girl had moved in with the rest of the Avengers after Pietro's death and had actually offered Katya to take them out of her head but she had refused. It wasn't supposed to be that simple. Besides, she deserved to live with the memories.

The woman, Elizabeth - but she had told Katya to call her Eliza - wrote something down. ''And your girlfriend?''

Katya had to think about that. Natasha had nightmares too, but they didn't seem to be as bad as hers. ''Not as bad, but they're there.''

Eliza hummed, crossing her legs elegantly. She wasn't wearing an expensive pencil skirt with heels but just some jeans with sneakers, which made Katya feel a lot better, more like she was talking to a friend. ''Does that complicate your relationship?''

''No, on the contrary.'' Both woman had never felt closer to each other despite the occasional anxiety-fuelled lashing out. Now there were truly no secrets between them anymore. 

Eliza looked happy with that answer. She kept going on and on about needing other people's help and was delighted to hear Katya listened to her advice. ''Have you talked to her about them like I told you to do last time?''

''I did,'' Katya confirmed, thinking back to when she took Natasha aside with shaking hands and told her what she had seen, ''She now understands why I panic when I'm washing my hands or when I hear a child scream.'' Luckily, there were no kids in or around the Avengers Compound so that last one didn't happen often. 

''And the fire?'' Eliza asked. 

Katya chuckled, despite the fact it was far from funny. She had given the Avengers quite a scare when she panicked over a fire. ''Tony doesn't light the fireplace anymore.''

''That's good,'' Eliza complimented. ''Identify the triggers and take steps to limit the occurence or impact of them.''

Katya nodded silently, remembering the things she had read online. She was determined to learn to live with it and had been working out a lot outside, running her laps around the compound each morning with the orange sun on her face and the fresh air in her lungs. It helped a lot. 

What may sound weird but had also helped was that Katya had dyed her hair back to brown again. Every time she had looked in the mirror, her blonde strands had reminded her of Katariina, the powerless woman under HYDRA's control, the one who killed children. 

Brown hair was Katya, free to think and do as she pleased. No longer the scared little girl who turned into a monster and became a terrorist's slave. It was a small difference but to her, it meant the world.

After the session, Katya had to always sit in her car for a couple minutes to gather her thoughts. It felt good to get help, better than the first time when she cried for half an hour afterwards and felt horrible. Now she did some of the breathing exercises she had also been taught by Eliza to calm her down and started the motor.

She couldn't help but smile at the sound and the open-mouthed looks she got from the people on the street. The bright orange car and the roar that came from the exhaust were impossible to miss. 

With high speed - but at the speed limit, she didn't want to die because of a car accident - Katya sped back to the compound, calling Natasha to let her know she'd be at the agreed spot in town in five minutes. The redhead needed to run some errands in the city so Katya had dropped her off on the way to therapy and was now picking her up too.

Of course, Natasha could have driven her own car or steal one of Tony's but moments to themselves were scarce with a whole team wanting all kinds of things from them the whole day, dragging them into their own problems and the new assignments the Avengers were already looking at. They never had a moment of peace.