Emotions [Dazai x Reader] ✓

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'Are you sure that's what you want to do?'

I hesitated before I gave the ginger a short nod, my hands still caressing the fabric of the hat he'd lent me to keep me company when he, along with Oda, had left me in the latter's office to cry alone. I didn't feel the least mad at them for it - I would've done the same if I thought the situation deemed necessary.

He heaved out a sigh, pulling himself up from being crouched down in front of me for what might've been a good half hour.

After returning alone, he stayed and listened to the conclusion I had reached upon reflecting on the events of these past few weeks while at the Mafia, and though I could tell he may have objected to the decision he accepted it as the best course of action for me also.

He extended out his hand to pull me up. 'I'll take you to Mori.'

I took his hand but did not allow him to lead me out; instead, I let go once my weight and balance were dependent on my legs and took the fedora that I held with my opposite hand into both, reaching my arms up and above his head to return the hat to where it belonged.

'I appreciate all you've done, Chuuya,' I confessed as I retrieved my hands, and gave him a gentle smile. 'But you've done enough.'

'Will your memories fade?'

I shook my head.

'I'll be here if you ever need anything, [Y/N].'

Then I departed from his office - the last time I planned to ever do so (and the last time I ever did).

From the short while, I'd been left alone to ingest the painful facts of events told to me I managed to reach a final decision on what should be the best for me - for him too perhaps.

'I'm leaving the Port Mafia, sir,' I stated as Mori allowed me in his office, expression unchanged at my declaration.

He did not protest as I had thought he might've - from watching countless TV shows or reading literature and graphic novels related to the subject of members of an underworld organisation wanting to leave, I gathered the matter was never taken lightly; the man wanting peace from crime would often be labelled a traitor and executed on the spot, or, if he lived through the false approval of its boss to set foot outside, it wouldn't be for too long until members of the organisation were sent out to assassinate him. Am I being provided with the latter?

'It's a shame. Your ability was a great asset for the Port Mafia. Alas,' he expressed as he reached a conclusion to the consent provided for my decision. 'No need to live in fear for your life, I will not attempt to persuade you to return. But I may have trouble accepting you back if you wish for such.'

'You needn't worry about that, sir,' I responded, bowing my head understandingly. 'I won't cause you the trouble of seeing me again.'

I escorted myself from his office once our conversation came to an end, startled as I saw a black-clothed figure of a man in a familiar trench coat standing beside the door, giving the illusion he was waiting for someone.

He quickly turned to me as he noticed my presence, hands desperately indecisive of where to rest from the looks of it.

'You've come to talk with Mori?'

'I came to talk with you.'

I cast him a smile, a soft one with no true joy in it; from having been shattered I expected smiling would be too difficult a task, which wasn't miscalculated, but the result of my heartbreak made it oddly easy to fake a smile and deceive others around me of things being fine.

'There's nothing else to say, Dazai. All's been said and done, and now there's no going back.'

'But -' he started but stopped, in the belief he could not persuade my mind to change anymore (he was right). 'You're leaving Yokohama?'