7-eleven ; sapnap

ᵢₙₜₑᵣₗᵤdₑ

Each word came out like a blow to the head. She could read the pain in his voice as if it were to be written in ink out in broad daylight.

"I want to finally fulfill this fantasy. It's-It... It's- This whole feeling, whatever the hell it is, I can't.. I can't-" he tripped over his own words, a million things set in his head but not one good way to communicate anything.

He tried again, "I don't want to live like this anymore y/n. I don't know how many days I can go without any clarity-"

"I'm in love with you." She interrupted. She looked down at her legs absolutely trembling out of her control.

"What?"

"It's not that I don't look at you the way you think I look at Nick.. It's that I do, and I want it to stop, Kai. I've been trying to suppress everything I've been feeling lately. I want to find any excuse I can to get mad at you, any excuse to distance myself far away because I'm fucking scared." Her breathing became unsteady after recognizing everything she'd revealed in such a short amount of time.

"Why-"

"You told me the other day, that.. that you can recognize my emotions— that you can read me like an open book. You said with confidence that you know how I am when I like someone," She paused, gathering all her thoughts together, "but your testimony lacked any verity to it, Kai, because you really were far from the truth. I feel nothing for Nick, the way I feel about you."

"Why do you want to run away from it?"

She refused to acknowledge his questions, "You were right about something though. I've dated the wrong guys so many times. Don't you think I would've already realized who the right guy is by now? Or at least have an idea of what the wrong one is?"

"If you knew who the right guy's been all along, why are you- why are you stopping yourself from feeling?"

"Ignorance is bliss. Perhaps you are the right guy, but what would that mean for us?"

"Why can't you just let yourself be happy, y/n?"

"In some upside down world where we ever got together, what would that mean for us? Platonic and romantic relationships don't coincide. Tell me, Kai, what happens to our prebuilt friendship we've been maintaining our whole lives? Where does that go?"

"It doesn't just disappear out of nowhere. We've been friends our whole lives, why does that have to change?" Perhaps it was his head not thinking straight from all the alcohol he'd consumed, but he'd been struggling to keep at the same page as y/n.

" Tell me, Kai. If in this hypothetical scenario, we ever break up, do you sincerely believe the world will revert back to it's original state of peace? Because you might be more naïve than I thought." Her tone grew colder and colder by the second, with clear irritation

"If I was the right guy for you, why would either one of us have to worry about breaking up?"

"Are you the right guy?"

The line grew silent, for just a moment.

"Sounds to me like you're afraid of taking the risk", he rebutted with clear avoidance of the given question.

"Perhaps," she sighed, tapping her foot on the ground in search of the right words, "or maybe you're missing the image."

"Then paint it out for me in vivid colour, please, be my guest."

"You may be the right guy for me, Kai.. Maybe you aren't, but in no reality do I see a romantic relationship valuing far more than what we already have together. You're just a friend, and that's all you'll ever be."

"It's just not clicking, y/n. You say you're in love with me, but you don't want to be with me..?"

"Sounds like it's clicking just fine. And trust me when I tell you that I only mean well when I say I have no interest in pursuing anything more than a friendship."

"Are you really in love with me..?"

"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be holding back. I wouldn't be fighting to keep you."

"You can't say you're fighting to keep me if you're trying to push me away. Please just- I don't think you're saying any of this to protect me. You're scared of getting hurt-"

"I'm scared of fucking things up" she interrupted sharply, words cutting deep like a knife, "What we've accomplished so far has been perfect. I don't understand why feeling some type of way had to mess it all up."

"Take the gamble, y/n. Leap with me."

"No..." her breath hitched, hearing herself sound so.. grim

"Am I the right guy?"

She didn't respond.
She didn't know the answer herself,

And she sure as hell didn't want to know.

The line stayed dead silent for a few more minutes. That was the timespan in took until y/n realized there hadn't been anyone at the opposing end of the line.

She pulled up Kai's contact, typing a quick text

Hello?

And that was the end of it.

Not delivered.

fun fact I based some of y/n's dialogue off what my ex told me when he dumped me 😼😼😼😼😼😼 still hurts