Becoming (INSECURE SEQUEL)

11: Bed Wetting

I sigh heavily. Everytime the world reminds you that it's not a pretty place, you feel like it's your very first time finding it out. Unfortunately, the world hasn't been a decent place for a long time and just because it starts getting better for some of us, doesn't mean anything about it has changed. No ten year old should be on their own. I can't remember what I was doing at ten because it was something too insignificant to remember--which is exactly how life should be when you're 10.

I take a deep breath as Catarina and I make it closer to the exit, not being able to bring myself to walk out of the door. It doesn't seem fair. It feels evil to go eat steak and lobster after I just found out a ten year old girl sleeps in storage closets. I stop walking and turn back around, marching back in the direction of the closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Inviting her to dinner."

I stand in front of the wooden door and I reach my hand out to knock. I hear complete silence on the other end and I know that it's probably fear and suspicion.

"It's us still." I speak to let her know it's okay. "Catalina and Catarina."

I watch the knob twist as she slowly opens it. I look down at the child with tangled hair and old pajamas and smile softly.

"Do you want to come to dinner with us? We're uhm, we're going to this steak place and--"

"I don't know you." She interrupts me.

Usually I would be offended because I'm only trying to be nice, but I get it. I'm a random stranger who she has never seen before. I don't expect her to jump in my arms and accept my invitations.

"It's okay." Catarina tells her. "I'm going too. It'll be fun, I think you'd like it."

Kali's eyes look up and down the hallways and she looks back at me. She makes eye contact and although I'm bad at it, I don't turn away because I want her to see whatever she's looking for. She wants to know if I'm genuinely being kind or if I have ulterior motives. She gingerly retreats back into the closet to grab her bag and to my surprise, she walks out of it.

She looks at Catarina to see if it's okay and Catarina nods her head. I can tell that Catarina must be one of the few people that she trusts. So now, the reason Catarina won't tell anyone about her makes sense: she doesn't want to betray the trust Kali has put in her. If keeping her secret is the most she can do, she'll do it.

******

I sit at the table and discreetly glance at Kali across the table as she stares the glazed ribeye in front of her. I don't think she knows how to eat it or trusts that it will be good. Maybe she's trying to save it for later when she's alone. I don't know what the problem is, but sitting in silence feels weird.

"So, uhm..... How do you like school?" I ask her. I don't know what else to talk about and I know she doesn't want to talk about the elephant in the room.

"It's cool I guess." She shrugs as she eats one of her fries. "I like science and art."

I smile. "I liked science too when I was in grade school. I went to college and I was a STEM major."

She nods her head. Why would a ten year old care anything about a college STEM major? It's all I can mention though, I can't blurt out all the struggles I've been through and overcome to make her understand that my intentions are pure. I think that with the right people and resources, she can turn her life around and be all the things she would only dream of being.

I stack up Catarina and I's empty plates for the waiter, and I watch Kalia pour hers into a to go box. I glance at her to catch her examining my face, but I pretend not to see. It's taking everything in me to fight the urge of just grabbing her and taking her under my wing. I don't want to weird her out, but I know that I'll never be able to sleep the same knowing about her situation.