ECHOES OF THE WIND : Jacob & Renesmee

23.THE DEPARTED

I step back and shook within the surging nothingness.

Grief ? Pain? Anger?

I felt none of them....yes I actually felt nothing_nothing at all I went all numb...totally lifeless.

What is even trying to say?! No, I suddenly had a hard time breathing.
Is this true? Did I heard it correctly-?!Could there be any reality in this or it's just my imagination a product of an active brain and strong nerves of an overtired body?

No. No. No. I can't.... I can't leave her.

"Sam's right we should not let it go." Billy agreed with Sam. "Sam with the rest of them will stay here under high alert in the meantime you and Leah should have at least a trip to South-west. "

Sam rested his hand on my shoulder. "Jacob, I know it's hard for you; I would have done it myself but if I leave this could grow suspicious for them-" he added.

"I need time" I said bursting out of house.

"Jacob?! Wait-" was all I heard.

The pain shot me up; but I continued to pace far away....away from the mess but the anger exploded in my head with a blending whiteness that made me
dizzy; it felt like thousands of needle had been dipped through my skin.

I stopped.

I can't just go away from her at least not yet__

I shifted back losing my balance I tripped over the thick-rooted branch of a tree and I sat wrapping both of my arms around my folded legs.

__but it is the hope that shines bright in me now; hope that I would return soon and be back with her, around her with no certain fear.

And it shows me the courage to hold onto that hope....to love, life and everything; but then here at the same time the pain in my shoulders rammed from stiffness all the way to surging blinding agony faster than I blink.

.............

___and then the next thing I knew was darkness; it was dark all around the sun has set as regular in its time but I remained still here.

"_in the meantime you and Leah should have at least one trip to South-west", his word bounced back in my skull.

I can't leave her. Not now. Or Never.
Never ever .

__but on the other hand I can't just go in a straight denial with Sam and live a life with her in a certain fear. I know at some point I will have to move; I will have to take the responsibility I am given_but even with all effort I can't.

But now all I know was I needed to see her; and not waste another single minute I can have with her.

I thought and jump to my feet pacing.

And if I do this, I'll do it for her, for my best friend, for them and for my pack__ my family.

I feel like each one of their life depends upon me.
I scoffed because they really do and I will do anything to protect her or any one of them.

I pulled myself up the stairs of "The Cullens" house as I bumped into a cold- pale structure.

"Slow Down, kid", Carlisle said.

I glanced at the door briefly, unevenly breathing.

"Jacob, what's wrong?!", Carlisle glared at me.

I found Edward appeared behind Carlisle; his eyes narrowed at me,"You are leaving_ what happened?!",his eyes grew suspicious-topaz.

I recalled each part we have been through_ The trail _The Crescent wolfpack and the purpose that brings them here _the reason behind I'll have to go_ that clung to each of my nerve straining them till it burst.