AMBIVALENCE . tsukishima kei [✓]

𝐂𝐇28 : 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵

[ third person ]

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As Tsukishima walked down the sidewalk, making his way to the bar that his friends were gathered at, his head was in the clouds.

He was fucked.

Three months. It had been three long months since [y/n] ended everything between the two and moved on with Kageyama.

At the time, he was confident. He was arrogant and thought that the ending of their little arrangement wouldn't affect him one bit. He truly believed she would come crawling back to him. Who would've thought that he'd be the only one missing what they had? His pride was a little too big to admit that aloud though.

Everything seemed to remind him of her. The way the room would briefly smell of her perfume or the way he would be reminded of one of the many dates they had ever had. Everything was tied to her yet he wondered why he wasn't still tied to her. 

Everything was fucked up, and he knew it was his fault too. But what could he do now? Nothing.

"Finally! We were just 'bout to start drinking." Takamitsu grinned as Tsukishima walked in, removing his scarf that was wrapped around his neck and sliding into the booth across from the two. He sighed lightly, swatting Takamitsu's hand when the blue eyed male tried to mess with his hair. "I'll pour you something small."

Tsukishima shook his head, "Give me a glass. Fill it to the top."

Both Denji and Takamitsu's eyebrows shot up in surprise when they heard the words leave Tsukishima's mouth. The blond male wasn't really the type to drink heavily since he didn't like the aftermath of it. He never found much joy in drinking, but tonight, he wanted something to take his mind off of things. 

"I really fucked up. Pour something strong." Tsukishima muttered, wrapping his fingers around an empty glass that Takamitsu began to fill with a strong liquor that was sure to get someone smashed quickly. 

"Don't drink too much. Moderation." Denji reminded, eyeing the blond who waved it off, chugging the glass easily. 

"Yeah, in moderation." Tsukishima reassured, sliding his glass in Takamitsu's direction for a bit more alcohol. The blue eyed male didn't hesitate to pour him another because he enjoyed seeing Tsukishima loosen up a bit. What Takamitsu didn't know was that he was feeding a disaster just waiting to happen. Which is why Denji didn't stop either of them.

[ t i m e   s k i p ]

"Calm down, Tsukishima. You're gonn-"

"No, fuck you. Don't fuck..ing talk to me." Tsukishima snapped, slapping away Denji's extended hand in a frustrated manner. After a little too much alcohol, he had grown emotional. His current behavior was a broad contrast of his usual self. 

Usually, when he gets drunk, he's the quiet type who sits there and listens, eventually getting tired. But when his emotions are already a mess and he drinks, then things get messier than before. 

"Tsukishima, that's enough alcohol." Denji muttered, snatching the bottle out of his hand and placing it far away. This only irritated Tsukishima further. 

He scoffed, glaring at Denji with his reddening eyes. "You can never let me have...what i want. No one wants me..to have what I want."

"Well, what do you want?" Denji asked with a raised eyebrow. When Tsukishima opened his mouth, Denji spoke up again, "Besides alcohol."

The blond slumped down, looking almost childish as he did so. "..n]."

"Huh?" Denji leaned closer, peering down at Tsukishima who buried his head in his arms. 

He looked up, his eyes reddening when a thin layer of tears pooled in his eyes. "[y/n]."

Takamitsu was already drunk off his mind, on the phone with Akemi and making all kinds of flirty jokes to her. Denji was busy trying to process what Tsukishima said since it was the first time the blond had ever mentioned [y/n] in three months. 

"I don't know if I can do that. She's with Kageyama, isn't she?" Denji internally cringed when Tsukishima practically shriveled up at the sound of that. He really hates it, huh?

"No one wants me to be happy." The blond mumbled, too drunk to even hold back his own thoughts. Denji knew he probably shouldn't have let Tsukishima drink a lot of that alcohol but part of him didn't want to stop him. He wanted Tsukishima to let loose and stop holding everything in. Maybe then, things could get fixed.

"Aren't you the one who ended things a year ago?" Denji questioned, earning a muffled response from Tsukishima. "I take that as a yes. If it ended a year ago, why are you so bent out of shape now?"

Tsukishima didn't answer.

"Ah, it's because she's getting with Kageyama now, huh? I mean, he was the guy you were worried about the entire time yet she's dating him now. It must be rough." Denji said, feeling bad internally. Sorry Tsukishima but I've got good intentions. "Why not move on? Youd said you were tired of being a second choice."

Denji continued, "I mean, if it were me, I would've left her a long time ago. Why stick with someone like tha-

"Because I love her." Tsukishima blurted, tired of listening to Denji talk about her. The confession only made the drunk mess grew more emotional. "Because I still love her but she lied and left me."

Denji glanced to the side, peering at the [h/c] girl who had walked in at the perfect time with her disheveled appearance. "Oh, you heard that, [y/n]?"

She chose to ignore Denji's words and question him. "What the hell, Denji? You told me he was have an issue that was an emergency." The girl flashed him the text that he had sent earlier which made it sound like Tsukishima was dying or something.

"Did you run here or something?"

"Yeah, I fucking ran because I thought he was dying!" She smacked Denji on the head, scoffing with irritation. Turning back to Tsukishima, she sighed and tucked her phone in her pocket. "Why'd you call me here? If it was just to show me this, I'm going back home."

"No, wait," Denji caught her by the wrist, giving her puppy dog eyes. "I, uh, don't know where he lives, so I was wondering if you could...take him home?"

"No. I'll give you directions."

Denji shook his head. "I have to take Takamitsu home." They both looked over at Takamitsu who was now slumped over on the table, kissing a photo of Akemi that he had in his wallet. "Yeah, you know how bad Takamitsu can get."

[y/n] inhaled loudly, flexing her fingers as she looked around before exhaling deeply. She shook her head and sighed, "Fine. I'll take him home."

Denji grinned, "Thank you, [y/n]." Perfect. Everything is going perfectly. 

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[ a/n : idk man, i get random spurts of inspiration where im so hyped to write then it just dies out then im sitting there with 97 words in the chapter and two braincells that are fighting over how to pronounce caramel ]