falling back for ex • suayeon

007.

Siyeon's POV.

it's almost two hours and we're still stuck here on the heavy traffic, i noticed that Sua can't stay still. I was secretly eyeing her and i was mesmerized by her beauty, even it's just her side profile. Her appearance didn't change at all, she was still that pretty girl i met in the past five years. I dated a lot of girls to forget how beautiful she is but i just can't, it's been too long yet her beauty is still stuck in my mind.

I turned on the radio to light up the mood and being in a traffic sucks. I hummed with the song which is Fix You by Coldplay. It's such a nice song.

"And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something, you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse?" the song continued to play and the more i hear the song, the lyrics remind me of the stupid things i did to her in the past. When You Lose Something, You Can't Replace. That lyric, dig deep down on my soul. Just like what happened, i lost her and now, i can't even replace someone like her.

"Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you" i sang that part and suddenly looked at her, she averted her eyes on me too and stared at each other for a while. Those damn beautiful pair of eyes, that pinkish lips and that gorgeous face. I wasted it and i'm regretting that freakin' decision.

If only Jiu didn't exist, me and Sua are still together. If only Jiu didn't bother my life, Sua is still here with me. I got tricked, i became a fool and ran circles on her palms. She just used me and i'm a clueless fool, then i lose the person who understands me more than anyone else in this cruel world.

"Sua.. i want to be a much better person for you" those words suddenly slipped on my mouth, she widened her eyes and looked away. She looked down and clenched her hand into a fist.

I let out a sigh, i'm so stupid.

"i mean, let's be friends.. nothing's wrong with that right?" I asked, i hope she agrees. I know it's too hard to earn her trust again because of what i did but it won't hurt if i try hard right?

Sua looked at me and i can't read her eyes well. She let out a deep breath and i can't see emotions on her face.

"i don't know" she said then looked away, that response, it's strange. I smiled bitterly and the cars began to move, the traffic is finally over so we need to get going. The whole drive was quiet, no one dared to speak. We reached her house and she quickly went out, of course i followed her. She was in a hurry and i know it was because of me.

I grabbed her arm and she looked at me, her eyes are teary. I never felt so guilty before. I gulped, i made her life miserable until now. Fuck.

"please.. let go" Sua mumbled so i did, i looked down a bit and let out a sigh. She let out a deep breath.

"Siyeon.. what i will say may be rude but i need to. I don't want to see or talk to you again, i can't forget how you fooled me in those past years. I just can't, so please, let's not see each other again. If you want to be friend with me, then okay, i'll be your friend but at the moment, if ever we see each other again, stay away from me." Sua added then went inside the house, leaving me dumbfounded outside. I did a face palm because i was so frustrate to myself, i am indeed a jerk. I want to be a better person for her but i guess everything is late now huh?