QUARANTINE - N.H.

fifteen

Niall:

I didn't say a word. And neither did Olivia. And even if I wanted to say something, I wouldn't know what and how to say it. How can somebody hurt her so bad and do something so horrible to a girl like Olivia.

How can somebody do something like that to any person on the world.

I couldn't look away from her face. My throat felt dry. I could see tears in her eyes again and I immediately felt bad for Liv again. "Please say something, Niall", she whispered. I could barely hear her. I think if she would have spoken up, she would have cried. I wanted to cry. "I- I don't know what to say, Liv", I whispered back. She looked me back into my eyes and when I saw her teary ones, I couldn't help but start tearing up myself.

"Can you hold me?", she asked. I nodded almost immediately. I scooted to her and she turned her body towards me. I wrapped my arms around her and she put hers over my shoulders. I felt her taking a few deep breaths. I started to rub her back, trying to calm her down and to show that I was there for her.

"Would you mind, if I told you what happened? I barely talked to anyone about it and I feel like, I would feel a lot better if I finally do", she mumbled into my shoulder, where she put her head. „Oh, my god, of course you can talk to me about it. I want you to talk to me about it. I want you to know that you can trust me and that I am here for you. Always. I just didn't know how to ask you to tell me what happened", I answered her and pulled back, so I could look into her eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. Then I pressed a kissed on her forehead. "Just start whenever you are ready", I said as I pulled back again. She nodded and then she rearranged herself on the couch and I did too, so we both would be comfortable. I put my arm on the back of the couch and with my other hand, I grabbed her legs and placed them over my legs and hold her there.

She wiped her face dry once again, took a deep breath before she started to explain:

"It all started my junior year in college. He was a med student too. His name was Trevor. I met him in one of my classes after he transferred to my college. So he basically was new. He came up to me in the hallway of our college and he asked me where this one room was and it was the same class that I had so I just told him that we could walk there together. That was when I met him. We got to know each other, exchanged numbers, so we could stay in contact and help each other in case we needed help with studying or something like that." Olivia took a deep breath and I rubbed her shoulder to calm her down. "It's okay", I said, "I am here for you, I got ya."

She continued: "We got together very quickly. We got along so well and I fell hard for him. And I thought he did too. I always thought that he loved me a lot, but after everything that happened. I am not sure anymore, actually. Anyways, we graduated from college and got into the same med school. We lived together and everything. We dated for two and a half years and I seriously thought he was the one. I would have done everything for him. After two and a half years our relationship started... it started to... change, I guess?" She was looking for the right words. I grabbed her hand and hold it tight. She smiled weakly at me. "He came home after being out with some of his guy friends, which wasn't something unusual. I wanted him to go out and have fun. I liked being on my own sometimes and I loved to see him enjoying himself with his friends. But at some point he started to come home and he wanted to have sex. I mean, we have done it before, but it was different then. Before, he always knew and respected when I wasn't in the mood and I always knew and respected when he wasn't."

Olivia took a break and looked out of the window. I felt that it was hard for her to finally open up, but I was glad she finally did.

"The fist time it happened was on a Friday night. He came home and I was laying in bed, reading a book. He came towards me and started kissing me. At first I didn't mind, you know. But the he started to try to undress me and I told him that I didn't want to sleep with him right know. But he didn't listen. He just continued. I tried telling him again and again, but he just continued to have sex with me. After... after he finished, he just laid in bed next to me and turned his back towards me. I was sitting there and I was crying silently. After that evening, something changed. After the first time, I tried to cover it up. I didn't talk to him about it and he didn't bring it up either, so I just let it go and thought that he was maybe drunk or he was angry or something happened with his friends. But that wasn't the last time. It happened again. And again. And again. I told him to stop and that I didn't want that, but at some point he just started to slap me and hurt me. He left bruises all over me."

Olivia started crying again and I pulled her in for a hug, not saying anything.

"That wasn't the worst part though", she cried, "I mean of course that was bad and I suffered a lot, but for me the worst part was when I finally opened up. I didn't know who to talk to. I wanted to tell my friends, but I didn't know how and I also thought that they were too involved on my life. They all knew and liked Trevor. So I went to one of these counselors on campus, who were suppose to help you, you know? She didn't help though..."

"Why? What happened?", I asked.

"She said that he was my boyfriend and then she asked me if we were in a committed relationship and I said yes, because we were. And the she said that since he was my boyfriend, he couldn't rape me. He is allowed to have sex with me. She said, that being in a relationship means to fulfill each others needs. She basically said that being in a relationship means, having permanent consent. She made me question everything I ever thought. And for another year or so, I thought this was normal and I should just keep quiet. But then my mom somehow found out what happened and she said that I had to break up with him immediately. I did. He stalked me for a while and I moved back to my parents house because it made me feel safer. I never recovered though. I still think to this day, that somehow everything was my fault."

I looked deep into her eyes. "I am so so sorry, Liv. I can't believe you had to go through something like that. I wish I could help you somehow", I said and brushed a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear.

She smiled weakly: "You just did Niall. You listened. That means a lot. So thank you."

Liv leaned in and kissed my lips. I kissed her back. Our kiss was full of love and passion. I tasted her tears and she probably tasted mine, but right now, only us two were important. I grabbed her face and pulled her even closer. Our tongues touched each other and I could have sworn to faint right then and there.