Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 2 • cuthberts, cuddles, and cpr

Gilbert just watched silently. He felt emotion building inside of him, but he wasn't about to show the Cuthbert girls that. He needed to be strong for them.

He wanted to say how sorry he was, but he knew how meaningless those words were. Everyone would tell them how they were sorry, but it wouldn't change anything.

So instead, Gilbert stayed quiet and watched. If they needed something, they would say so.

Marilla held her adopted daughter close to her chest. She knew how loss felt, and so did Anne. But she had a strange relationship with grief. After her older brother Michael died, Marilla had to be the rock. It's all she knew. Now is no different. One day Marilla would let herself truly feel, but today was not that day.

She looked up at the two boys. Jerry looked like he had seen a ghost, he practically had. The poor young boy never felt death, and Matthew was like a father to him. In a strange way, Jerry was just was just as much part of the family as Anne was.

Gilbert only showed emotions through his eyes. His face was calm and serene, but Marilla saw a different story in his eyes. She could see how angry he was that his efforts were worth nothing. She knew he held off because he felt death just as they had. He was their kindred spirit.

"I have to go to town and find the coroner." Marilla stated quietly, "You three should go inside and get some tea. I'll be back soon."

"No, Marilla, please don't go I need you." Anne sobbed into her chest and held tightly.

Marilla looked down at her with pity, "Anne, I need you to be strong for me."

Anne looked up at the idea of being strong for Marilla. She would do anything for Marilla, even if it meant breaking her own heart.

Anne nodded quietly and stood up. Marilla kissed her forehead and looked at the two boys. She didn't say a word, but they both felt her say,

Take care of Anne.

And she left them.

Three kids and a dead body.

There was a long pause before Gilbert finally whispered, "We should go inside."

The three walked in silence, but their minds were running.

Gilbert was angry with himself. How is he supposed to be a real doctor if he couldn't even revive one man with CPR? He was a failure. He failed Anne. The one person in this entire world he wanted to always watch over. The girl he treasured since they met. How could he let her down?

Jerry was left without any thought really. He had never faced someone's death and didn't know what to do with himself. His chest felt crushed and his whole body was buzzing. His trip back to the Cuthbert home felt like it took forever. The house already felt empty without Matthew.

Anne was numb. She knew heartbreak, but nothing close to this. Her parents were dead before she could really mourn them, so the death of a parental figure was foreign to her. She only knew Matthew for three years, but that didn't matter. He was her father, biological or not.

Anne didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't know what to say or how to host her two guests. She just cried silently.

Do they even notice?

The three kids entered the house, but just stood in the doorway. After a minute of silence, Anne went upstairs and slammed her door shut. Jerry left and sat on the porch. Gilbert didn't move.

The more Anne thought, the more she felt alone. Matthew was her kindred spirit. She'd always love Marilla, but Matthew held a special place in her heart. He raced to find her and loved hearing her stories.

What will I do without him?

Marilla didn't have the loving touch Anne needed right now. There was exactly one person who might understand her. But there was no way he'd consider coming to help-

And that's when Anne heard a knock on her door.

If there was one thing Gilbert understood, it was grief. One second he was standing in the Cuthbert's kitchen, the next he was knocking on Anne's door. He didn't know what possessed him, but he didn't care. He wanted to be there for her. He needed to be there for her.

I need her too.

"Anne?" Gilbert said softly, not wanting to alarm or annoy her.

Unsurprisingly, there wasn't a response.

"Anne, I'm coming in." He said, much more confidently.

Gilbert opened the door to see Anne lying on the floor, hugging her little Anne of Green Gables pillow. She wasn't crying, she was just staring.

Her face was redder than her hair, with lines from tears almost making stripes on her face.

Anne didn't care how awful she looked. She didn't care about anything as trivial as looks anymore. She would only pray for her family from here on. Anne couldn't believe there was a point she only wished to be beautiful with auburn hair. What was she thinking?

She didn't know how to feel about Gilbert's presence. She had asked for it...right? Anne knew he would understand. But it was Gilbert. There was still a part of her that felt undeniably bashful around him, not matter how vulnerable they had already seen each other.

Gilbert didn't know what to do. Everyone grieved in their own way, but all he had was his own experience. So he did exactly what he wanted someone to do.

Before Anne could comprehend that Gilbert was in her room, she felt him come in and sit next to her.

"I'm here for you, Anne." He said softly, but factually.

Anne didn't even think. She followed her instinct as she sat up, looked at him with her tired and puffy eyes, and threw herself into his arms.

Her head was against his chest and she could feel his heartbeat. All Anne wanted to do out in that field was hear a heartbeat.

She didn't want to sob, but Anne still cried into his shirt. Her hands gripped onto his vest for dear life. Almost like if she let go he would be gone.

Gilbert felt his heart break. He loved Matthew like a father, and he couldn't help but be reminded of his own father's death. Gilbert didn't have anyone to hold him, as much as he wanted to. So he let Anne cling onto him.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."