Chapter 8

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Lydia was bored again.  She was growing increasingly frustrated when her kids were gone.  Normally she cherished her days alone.  Scalding hot bathes in the candle light, meditation, yoga, cleaning in complete silence, no interruptions. She could get up and go for walks where ever and whenever she pleased.  No planning, no taking thirty minutes just to get ready to go out. Nothing.  Just complete and utter relaxation.

But no, not today.  She noticed an alarming rise in her frustration levels.  Anger was, again, becoming harder and harder to control.  Temper was becoming harder and harder to curb, despite her best efforts to release it in a constructive way. 

“Constructive my ass,” Lydia snorted. Walking, running, meditation… it was good for clearing the mind and draining the body.  But her emotions seemed to be in an upheaval.  She had no reason to be angry. She had everything she wanted and was content with the way things were.  She had accepted a long time ago that she was not normal and was destined to be alone.  She was too strong, too independent, and too strong willed to share her life with anyone but her children. Even her family avoided her most of the time.

So why was she restless?  Why did she keep having so many health problems the more she tried to control herself?  And why, after so long, was she losing that control? Nothing had changed in her life.  No changes, financially she was ok, she had a house, her kids were happy. She had everything she needed or wanted.

Nothing had changed, except her run in with her neighbor a few months ago.  Mr. Montgomery had said he wasn’t in the military anymore but when she had went back outside to grab her book she left out on the porch, she had seen him get into a black vehicle with a man in a military uniform.  Not that she was thinking about him or anything. 

She did remember when he touched her foot, she remembered the heat she felt spreading into her, seeping into her bones.  He had grabbed her other foot as well and held both in those large hands.  All she could remember was the heat. 

It lasted for a few weeks.  She didn’t remember her feet getting cold for a little while after that day.  It had baffled her and she thought about it often. 

She put on a pair of silver earrings and the silver necklace she had gotten for a Christmas present from her kids the year before. She loved silver, the touch of it on her skin always felt warm and made her feel calm.  She wished she liked to wear more jewelry. She wasn’t a flashy person and didn’t like a lot of things like that.  Just a few now and then.  She wore no makeup. God she detested the feel of it. Like it was sinking into her skin, clogging up her system, making it hard for her to breathe.

Walking into her bathroom, Lydia thought she heard something upstairs and she paused. It was a nice day out but getting cooler now. It was late fall but the summer weather was still trying to cling to whatever it had left in it. 

“Probably the cats jumping at the walls,” Lydia mumbled to herself. 

Those damn things were always jumping at the walls trying to get whatever little critter had made its way inside.  Those little visitors didn’t bother her so much. Watching the cats prowl and stalk the walls was really funny most of the time. 

Putting her deodorant on and checking her clothes, Lydia turned to leave when she heard the noise again upstairs. Pausing with her hand on the doorknob she listened.

Ten seconds, twenty …. She could have sworn she heard footsteps.  Her heart was starting to race.  Slowly she opened the bathroom door and quietly stepped out. To her right was the stairs if she leaned over she could peer up or she could turn left and run out the door.  But she was frozen for some reason.  She could do neither.  She felt as if she was waiting for something, a sign, an indication… for one maddening moment she thought she somehow lost her control over her mind. 

Screaming inside her head at herself, she kept telling herself to flee. To open the door and run.  But why was she standing here? All tense like she was going into battle? It was her house, she had certainly heard weird noises before.  Mostly from the cats knocking over things in other parts of the house.  She was simply over reacting, probably because she was wound up.

As she was willing herself to relax she heard the noise again. Footsteps, upstairs from what sounded like her room. Rage flooded through her, pure adrenaline was flowing through her body fueling every muscle. 

How dare someone come into her house!!  She felt a shift insider of her and she could hear whoever it was as if she was standing right in front of them.  The footsteps were soft, as if they weren’t even walking on her carpets. Yet she could hear them. She could hear the padding of a soft soled shoe softly walking around her bedroom. 

Not realizing it, her pupils were dilating, her body was preparing itself for a fight. She could smell something now.  Something she didn’t recognize. It smelled almost rotten, like someone had thrown away some kind of spoiled meat.  Or perhaps something had died outside on a hot summer day.  And something else, some smell she didn’t recognize something with an almost metallic smell. 

What an odd thing to be thinking about, Lydia thought. Thinking about what you smell while someone rummages through personal belongings.  The thought sent a fresh rush of adrenaline through her.  Everything was clearer, every sound, every smell. 

Control. She must get control of herself before she did something stupid. Like run headfirst up the stairs and strangle whoever was violating her home.  She needed control, she fought for it now. 

Pushing everything else down Lydia fought within herself for the control.  Clear headed, she has to be clear headed, adrenaline was clouding her mind right now. Pushing her to do things that nature wanted her to do but she controlled that for so long she couldn’t let it out now. 

How stupid was she to stand here while some burglar was going through her house. Maybe with a weapon. Or with more than just the intent to steal a few things. She’d been alone for a long time and a lot of people knew that.

Fighting desperately with the urge to kill whoever it was she quietly turned towards the screen door and opened it. She sensed whoever it was behind her and broke into a full run, without looking back, out into the sun where she could scream if anyone pursued her. 

Reaching the end of her yard she looked back and saw a man standing at the bottom of her stairs, inside the screen door just staring at her.  He was thin and pale looking with long blond hair.  Heat flared within her body, it felt like she was going to burst into flames.

Lydia turned and stood and stared back at the intruder.  All her muscles bunching and clenching, like they were trying to will her forward to fight.  But she stood her ground, standing there with her fists at her sides and her head tipped down a little. She was glaring at him, not sure why she felt like wanted to run towards him. 

 Control. Control yourself Lydia, you do not walk back into a house where someone is standing, possibly waiting to kill you.

Her thoughts were becoming muddled as she felt the rage starting to fill her up again. Her skin felt like a furnace now, she wasn’t sure why she wasn’t on fire.  Her head was roaring with the sound of the blood rushing through and she was having difficulty standing still.

What the hell was going on?  Some man was standing there waiting to possibly kill her, or worse , and she was standing here fighting with herself.  Her body was shaking now, not sure if it was from fear or the ongoing fight she was waging within herself to keep control.  Staring at the man standing at the bottom of her stairs, in HER house, on HER property. Nothing else mattered now, she heard nothing, saw nothing but the intruder.

She was losing control.

And the man with the blond hair was smiling.

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