To Be So Lonely

27

"Professor Lupin is a good person. He could be a vampire for all I care."

"Walking leeches," The adder added to the bloodsucking creatures.

"What if I was a werewolf?" She mused more to herself with her arms crossed and resting on her knees. "Maybe then I'd have a pack to run around with," her voice dulled into a pessimistic feeling as the waves of loneliness and missing a family that there never was came. "I also am already formidable."

"Oh, I know what are," The serpent whispered in her ear.

Upset, lost in thought Nel dusted the dirt of her clothes and left the greenhouse with the snake snuggly coiled around her neck. Her shoulders were pessimistically slung. She rounded behind the greenhouses and sat behind them on a small grassy hill that overlooked the Whomping Willow and Hagrid's Hut and pumpkin patch. The Forbidden Forrest bordered in the distance.

"What do you think I am?" She asked solemnly fisting some grass in her hand and ripping it up from the ground. She met the adder's beady red eyes with a profound sadness. It seemed like the more she dug into her past, the more she questioned and wished to know who her family had been or if she still had one the worse things got and the uglier her past appeared to be. Perhaps... it was best this way. Perhaps there had been a reason for her abandonment at Wool's Orphanage all of those years ago.

"You're just a silly little girl who's afraid of water with too much time to spare. Shouldn't you be reading? Or doing somebody else's schoolwork?"

"I hate reading," She huffed humorously. Maybe Nathair was right, maybe she should use her time wisely and continue working on other's assignments. After all the more financial cushion she had the better for the future. Inhaling a deep breath, she held it for a moment before ripping a strand of weeds rather aggressively and releasing the blades of grass for the wind to carry. "Maybe you're right. You're a snake and have always been a snake and I'm just a stupid girl and I'll always be a stupid girl."

Nathair's loud hiss made her head rapidly tilt to the side.

"Self-depreciation does not suit you," it advised.

Rising to her feet again Nel rose and brushed the few strands of greenery in her hands.

"Terribly hiding spot if you ask me," A familiar voice broke the momentary peace. The snake hissed slightly at it and hid its head and tail inside the student's sweater and underneath her coat.

"It's that boy that looks like there's something stuck up his-," the snake whispered into her ear. She ignored it. "Maybe it's all that cologne he wears. I can smell him from a mile away."She ignored Nathair's comment, no matter how humorous she found it.

"If I was hiding you wouldn't find me," She shot back at Draco without missing a beat.

He stood a couple of feet away with his hands sank into the pockets of his dark coat. Hair parted on the side, bangs falling across his forehead. "You've been avoiding me," he said his lips twisting into a frown.

Not a lie.

Her frown turned into a scowl as she marched past him. Or at least attempted to.

"I don't understand why you're so damn upset," He followed his temper quickly flaring in frustration.

Not wanting to engage she walked away from him. After being on the verge on an ongoing identity crisis that seemed to be reoccurring every couple of months, she really wasn't in the mood to argue.

"Nel, come on," He implored. He stopped following when he realized she wasn't going to stop in her step. "You're not a mudblood."

Halting she turned and zeroed in on him with a deathly glare.