After Ice

High on Seaweed

"Shai!" 

I hear my name echoed over and over in my head as he calls after me. 

Shai Shai Shai Shai you're a child of the sea, Shai

Mud squishes between my bare toes, branches slapping against my burned face. Trees sway overhead, sharp rain hitting their leaves and making a harsh slapping sound. I tear through the greenery when suddenly my feet are on the sand again. I let out a cry as the spray of a wave settles over me. The ocean stretches far out till the horizon. 

I spin on my heel, running in another direction. This time, there's mud and then rock, slippery and covered in sea plants. I groan, rushing uphill. The incline makes my throat hoarse, and I push harder up the slope. For the second time, there's rock underfoot, two boulders looming upwards. Suddenly...

nothing

A hand grabs my arm, roughly yanking me back as the water pounds against the rocks far below. I ran to the top of the cliff. Rei pulls me against his chest, and I struggle, slamming into one of the boulders. He takes hold of my shoulders, his black hair being blown in all different directions as he holds me against the rock. His forehead pressed against mine, his mouth too near as we lean on each other, breathing the same air as my chest heaves. 

With a sob, I push him away until he backs into the opposite boulder.

"Stay away from me you inhuman, perverted monster!" I punch him hard in the chest. The only thing Rei does is hold up his forearms in front of his face, his back curving inwards as I hit him again and again. I clearly don't actually hurt him, the only one that might have done any damage was the first. All the rest were sloppy because I'm exhausted. So... tired. I slump down, curling my arms around my knees and hitting my head back against the stone. I saw it you know. The moment when you realized that you owed me your life and that the only reason you are here, is because of me. I clench my teeth together as Rei slides down the rock opposite me. So maybe you should be a bit afraid.

I tilt my head back down to look at him, rain slipping down my nose and cheeks. His elbows are on his knees, hands hanging down nonchalantly. For now. I shift my arms, feeling the bruises on my neck.

"You're strong, you know that?" My voice is croaky, like I've cried for a long time. He doesn't say anything, continuing to stare at me. "Rei?" He closes his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut before opening them. Their blue is cloudy and dull. I wait, whole body aching. "Can you hold me?" He drops his knees, opening his arms. I crawl over the stone to him, our bodies intertwining, one cold and one warm. He shudders, inhaling a sharp breath.

"Oh god, Shai." He buries his face in my hair, body shaking. "What did I do to you? Shai I'm so sorry-" he murmurs over and over, fingers curling into my arms as he rocks back and forth, clutching me tighter and tighter. I curl up on his chest, in between his legs with his arms wrapped around me. It's enough to dull the pain of hunger in my chest

but maybe not enough to quench the doubt.

*

I wake in the morning still curled in a tight ball. 

Rei still has his arms around me, though the sky has cleared. His breathing is steady, but when I crane my head up at him, his ocean eyes are open. He smiles very slightly, the wind picking up his hair. I tilt my head back down, playing with a strand of my own red waves. I only stop when I feel his arms tighten. I frown, curiously looking up, but he only glances at my neck, standing up and walking a few paces away. 

I watch as Rei rakes his hands through his hair, pacing.

"I don't know what happened, but it wasn't you," I say quietly. He doesn't respond, coming up to a boulder and staring at the stone ground. "I was wrong." I get up, not making any more moves towards him. "You're not just some sea creature like the monster we encountered. Rei? Look," I head over to him, turning him to face me. "I'm sorry."