The Experience of Being Alive

Chapter Eighteen

Binny wondered how many of her companions, or for that matter, any of the characters that lived in the Stacks had seen the room with the fire. Except of course for the ones that had been there once to say goodbye, Binny imagined that almost none of them had. One hadn't said anything overtly threatening, but being led into that room had been pretty intimidating.

What was this place? The Stacks? More importantly why was everyone okay with things the way they were? Every day, the same thing over and over again. All this talk of responsibilities. Of privileges. Of duty. But what about all the people in the Stacks? All the characters? Did they not deserve to have a life as well?

The life they lived in their books was really for the benefit of others. And the life they lived in the Stacks, well, what kind of life was it really? And of course, the moment the characters in the Stacks were of no more use to the readers, they got a good close look at that roaring fire.

And at that moment, it clicked for Binny. Exactly what had been bothering her. Binny realized, it wasn't just her, not just all the other characters from her book, but every character in every book, they were all, well, disposable.

Disposable.

Binny had hardly noticed her surroundings as she walked. She'd been violently circling this idea, this notion, until she had finally pounced on it, revealing it for what it was, shining a light on the truth of it, and seeing its ugliness.

The amazing things they could do, the places they could visit, the endless amounts of entertainment in the form of books, and films, all available 24-7, they were all distraction. Distraction from the truth of the matter. Meant to put everyone in the Stacks into a trance so they didn't contemplate what was at the center of their own existence.

Her father had certainly succumbed. Everyone had really, in their own way. Hermione attached herself to the rules like they were a baby's pacifier. Katniss acted like she was above the rules, but she played along, choosing to poke at the ridiculousness from behind a safe mask of being too cool for absolutely everything. Even Maisie and Matilda had decided not to take any risks in this place, instead whiling away their days reading every book and eating every candy they could get their hands on.

Binny looked up. She'd made it to dinner, but it looked like things were wrapping up. In truth, she had pretty much lost her appetite. Binny scanned the crowd and spotted the others.

"You missed dinner. I would have saved you some if I'd known you were coming," Hermione said brightly.

"Thanks. But I'm not really very hungry." Binny said returning a pained smile.

"It wasn't bad actually. It was some sort of hobbit delicacy," Arya said.

"Not made of actual hobbits mind you," Katniss joked.

"Ewww. Gross," Hermione said.

"They might be delicious. How would you even know?" Katniss said.

"I met a hobbit once. They're too little anyway. Not enough meat on them," Arya tried to get in on the joke.

"Well if dinner's over, should we go?" Binny felt impatient. Her mind was racing in circles. Angry circles.

"Not yet. Dessert is yet to come."

"Who picked it tonight?"

"Edmund," Hermione said. And then turning to Binny, "From The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe."

"Yeah. I know who Edmund is." Binny said, and then thought for a moment. "Let me guess, we're having Turkish delight for dessert."

"In all the colors." Arya rubbed her hands together.