OF THE NIGHT ∘ Seth Gecko

22 | Burn

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
BURN

IT'S DARK OUTSIDE WHEN I wake up after a good, deep sleep. I continue lying in bed for a while with a heavy feeling from last night's fight with Seth. Our conversation keeps replaying in my head until I conclude that I can't fall back asleep. Careful not to wake up Kate, I push myself out of bed and intend on going to the bathroom, when through the window I see Seth sitting outside of our room. It brings me to a stop.

For some time, I watch him, wondering why he's missing another night of sleep. He's sitting on a chair with his back to me and it seems that he's alone with his thoughts and an empty bottle of what I assume is alcohol. The thought of him all alone as he lets his demons get to him, pains me and even though it might be better not to bother him, I pull on a jacket and head to the door. Maybe I'm headed for another fight with him, but at the moment what my heart feels for him is stronger than any hurt or anger.

The sound of the door opening immediately draws his attention and I pause at the doorway as if I'm waiting for his permission. Seth looks like his regular self, not letting too many emotions show as his dark eyes study me. He doesn't say anything yet he does sit up in his chair, which I take as a sign that he doesn't mind my presence. So, I close the door behind me and lean my back against the wall while he moves his gaze away from me.

The night is cold and has a sense of loneliness in it. Instead of looking at Seth, I watch the view in front of us like he's doing — a parking lot, a few small houses, and the starry sky. The silence between us isn't awkward, but I'm very aware of how many unsaid things it holds. It might be time to stop avoiding them.

"I'm in lo—" I somehow find the courage to say.

"Do yourself a favor and don't say that, April," Seth interrupts me.

My heart skips a beat. I push myself off the wall and walk closer to him so I can look at his face. Seth's caramel eyes are still set on an unknown point in the distance like he's forcing himself not to look at me. The rejection that's about to come already hurts.

"Why?" I ask in irritation. "In the real world, people communicate, Seth. They talk about how they feel even if it isn't pleasant. You can run away from the police all you want but you can't run from me. And I... I'm in love with you. You have to face it."

The only response that I get from him at first is a clench of his jaw. It makes me want to scream. He keeps staring at whatever until I come to stand right in front of him, demanding his attention. This conversation isn't going to be easy but I think I'm stubborn enough to make him talk to me.

"I'm not here to demand you'll love me, okay? I—"

Seth takes me by surprise when he stands up and my heart beats faster. "We're going to cross that border, each go our merry ways and then you'll find yourself someone decent and live a happy little life," he says. Everything about him — the look in his eyes, his expression, his tone — is extremely determinate and for a moment, I'm taken aback.

"Where the hell is this coming from?" I frown at him.

"You can do better, June, okay? I'm a thief, you're a cop. It won't work," Seth replies and I don't know what surprises me more — what he's saying or how angry he's getting.

"Stop," I snap at him. "Why can't you be sincere with me just this once? I don't need a speech, I need to know how you feel, Seth. You kissed me so tell me why you did it. What, do you think that you're not good enough for me so you're pushing me away and keeping your distance?"

He stares at me for several seconds with stormy eyes. Once I realize that he's silent because I'm right it feels like the tide hit me.

"Leave it, Princess," he says and heads for the motel room.